Skip to Content
Everything Else

Ogle Madness VIII: Northeast Region (Lower Bracket)

1:36 PM EDT on March 16, 2015

Okay, now it's time to vote for the rest of the Northeast Region. Have you already voted for the upper half of the bracket? If not, click here and go do it!

This part of the bracket features three of Oklahoma's most nauseating politicians. Here are the match-ups:

(6) Marijuana vs (11) Josh Cockroft
(3) The Ogle Brothers vs (14) The Oklahoma Furries
(7) The Blue House vs (10) James Lankford
(2) Gary England vs (15) Sally Kern

Not to let the committee try to influence the voting, but I know you'll do the right thing, Oklahoma.

(6) Marijuana vs (11) Josh Cockroft


(6) Marijuana

What it is: Excellent medicinal product, or the cause of most of society's problems, depending on who you ask. Either way, a helluva good time.

Strengths: Do you ever think about, like, just how huge the universe is? You know what I mean, man? Do you ever just stop to marvel at that?

Weaknesses: Drives prohibitionists to say ridiculously silly things like this.



(11) Josh Cockroft

Who he is: Arts hating mean person

Strengths: Soon to be a proud new father!

Weaknesses: Writes awful homophobic stuff... that he plagiarized.



(3) The Ogle Brothers vs (14) The Oklahoma Furries

ogle brothers

(3) The Ogle Brothers

Who they are: Giant newsreaders

Strengths: Their last name ensures they will work in this town forever

Weaknesses: Inflicted things like "My Two Cents" and "The Rant" on an unsuspecting Oklahoma City.


(14) The Oklahoma Furries

Who they are: The world's largest outdoor furry convention, in... Watonga?

Strengths: They aren't Bronies.

Weaknesses: Doesn't it get hot in there?



(7) The Blue House vs (10) James Lankford

(7) The Blue House

What it is: Location of seriously sketchy but kind of sexy dealings between members of our government.

Strengths: Got the typically dry Journal Record to publish an article called "Sex and Sabatoge."

Weaknesses: Blue is a terrible color for a house.


lankford three words

(10) James Lankford

Who he is: Yet another terrible politician from Oklahoma

Strengths: Maybe not quite as bad as some of our other politicians

Weaknesses: His voice and his face don't match



(2) Gary England vs (15) Sally Kern

gary england big news 9 commercial

(2) Gary England

Who He is: Weather deity.

Strengths: Too many to list.

Weaknesses: Somehow has never won Ogle Madness. You have all failed him.


sally kern wal mart

(15) Sally Kern

Who she is: An almost cartoonishly horrible person.

Strengths: An unparalleled level of self-importance.

Weaknesses: I mean, where to begin? Doesn't like gay people. Doesn't like black people. Probably hates puppies. Helluva job, Bethany.



Thanks for reading!

Register or log in to continue.

See all subscription options.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter