There's finally some good news to report from the OU campus.
President David Boren announced earlier this week that he's named severe weather savior Gary England as the university's new Consulting Meteorologist-in-Residence. I have no clue what that means, but let's hope one of his first job duties is to destroy the SAE house with lightning, hail and isolated mini-grinders.
Currently collaborating with the University of Oklahoma on an upcoming educational opportunity, Oklahoma’s own Gary England has been named OU’s Consulting Meteorologist-in-Residence. The appointment was announced by OU President David L. Boren at the March meeting of the OU Board of Regents. England’s appointment is effective February 1.
That's just the coolest thing ever. Gary is kind of like the pizza, cocaine and cowbell of weather deities; you always want more.
So, what does a "Consulting Meteorologist-in-Residence" actually do?
England and OU are working together to provide an exciting new series about severe weather. This online series is a collection of short, entertaining videos hosted by England that will allow people of all ages to better understand Oklahoma’s weather. Additional information about this series will become available when the series is released in April.
Yeah, if you see me walking around with a book or bag strategically placed in front of my crotch, that explains why. Seriously, anyone else want to camp out with me outside the National Weather Center to get a first glimpse of these videos? I'll probably go full fanboy and dress up like Twister Gary England, so be sure to dress up in a different costume. You can be anything except for Confused Giant Ipad Gary England. If you go as Mike Morgan, be sure to wear a cape.
Anyway, is there anything else we need to know about this exciting news involving our Holy Weather Lord?
Named “The Weather God of Oklahoma City” by The New York Times, England is the recipient of numerous awards and honors, including four Emmys and the Silver Circle Award by the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, Heartland Division. He was inducted into the Oklahoma Hall of Fame in 2013. He also received the prestigious Edward R. Murrow Award for best in the nation in breaking weather coverage in all large markets.
WTF?! The New York Times gets credit for calling Lord England a weather god? That's bullshit!
First of all, you don't just name someone a "god." It's not like becoming a knight, dame or trainer at Chili's. Did the Bethlehem Picayune name Jesus as the "God of the Universe?" No. Gods are either born that way in a barn... in Seiling... by a virgin, or they're just some crazy dude with a bunch of wives. They are not "named" by fancy newspapers.
Second, The New York Time was not the first media outlet to notice the divine powers of Lord England. We've been disciples for his holiness since this site was created in 2007. See that image above? It was created in 2009. We named our weekend event guide "Friday Night in the Big Town." And has the The New York Times "Critic at Large" Sam Anderson ever made a pilgrimage to Seiling for Gary England's Birthday? No, but we did... in 2012. If you remember correctly, we not only made a melted hail stone offering at the Seiling tornado siren...
But we also found Gary's first five-day forecast. It's the weather equivalent of the Dead Sea Scrolls:
So yeah, the New York Times isn't the only media organization to name Gary England a weather god.
Anyway, I kind of got off point.
I guess I'd like to congratulate Lord England on his new gig. We think he'll do well. Also, when OU names Emily Sutton their "Consulting Meteorologist-in-Residence" in 2034, they better know which outlet was the first to dub her as "Oklahoma's Severe Weather Princess."