Last Friday, Channel 9 shared a Facebook post about a colossal awareness ribbon that God or the Government carved into the clouds to the east / southeast of the metro. It could be seen from Shawnee to Wewoka to Ada and other places God or the Government probably wouldn't want to visit.
Take a look...
Wow. The lord works in mysterious ways. Who knew airplanes could turn around in midair? Amazing!
Seriously, though, I thought Channel 9 was better than this. You're telling me that out of the 10 full time meteorologists they have on staff, not one of them could explain what the hell is going on here? Did they really need to throw it out on Facebook to see if their followers had "any more info?"
The answer is of course they did. The TV news media is in a Facebook arms race. They'll do anything to get likes and shares on their posts, and the easiest way to accomplish that in Oklahoma is to pander to one of the three dominant Facebook demographics in our state: Christians, conspiracy theorists, and boring people who post that Ancient Aliens meme.
They all came out in full force to explain what they obvious contrail in the sky really was. Here are some examples:
Listen, I'm sure there is a random, out-of-context verse in the Bible that explains this – there always is – but don't you think God has better things to do on a Friday than convince some pilot to create a loop in the sky for the bemusement of News 9 Facebook followers and folks in rural Oklahoma? Wouldn't he be in heaven playing a golf foursome with Ben Hogan, Abraham Lincoln and Gandhi? Wait. Gandhi wasn't a Christian, so he's burning in Hell.
Also, if God really wanted to "wow" people, why doesn't he come down and cure cancer instead of reminding us about it? Making a magical ribbon appear in the sky is passive aggressive and more serious than a Super Bowl ad. He should have lightened things up and drew up a slice of pizza or peace sign.
I know, I know, those are all logical questions for something that really isn't all that logical, but I still had to ask. Speaking of things that aren't logical...
Anyone else think it would be kind of fun to buy a black van, bolt an old DirectTV dish to the top of it, and then park outside Holly Butler's house for a week? That would be hysterical.
With that being said, chemtrails? Our government can't even launch a healthcare website. You really think they're capable of pulling off a vast global conspiracy to geo-engineer the population? Even God, who at last check still thinks 9/11 was an inside job, thinks that's virtually impossible.
In addition to Christians and tin foil hat wearers, we had the people who think they are funnier than they actually are:
Isn't it about time we retire this meme? It was funny the first time I saw it on Reddit in 2012. I say we should have meme retirement hall of fame. First year inductees are...
- Michael Jackson Pop Corn
- Good Guy Greg
- Brace Yourself
Not all comments were marveling at the power of God, the government or the imgur meme generator. Some were kind of logical:
Man, the truth sure is boring. Too bad God invented it.