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The Lake Hefner Frackers Are Getting Desperate…

10:48 AM EST on December 23, 2014

Last week, the energy company that wants to frack Lake Hefner had their big public meeting with Oklahoma City residents. It went about as well as you would expect. Citizens came out in droves, asked tough questions, voiced concerns, logged complaints, and then had it all immediately brushed off by greedy energy company executives and a few city employees.

Yes, apparently injecting toxins into the earth right next to the lake that supplies drinking water to Oklahoma City residents is a contentious issue. To get some support and swing momentum to their side, the frackers have decided to pull at the heartstrings of Oklahomans. They're going to go after those Lake Hefner gay cruisers.

In case you didn't know, you may want to watch your step if you ever visit a wooded area in or around Lake Hefner. The place is a magnet for gay cruising. We know this thanks to A) urban legends learned from high school and b) law enforcement sting operations that are widely reported by our local media (Example 1, Example 2, Example 3).

Anyway, the frackers are now assuring us that if we let them frack in the heart of our city's largest recreational area, the gay cruising problem will be solved.


The secluded areas around Stars and Stripes Park are peaceful during the day, but not so much at night.

Oklahoma City Police have arrested 14 people this year alone on suspicion of committing lewd acts in that area near Lake Hefner.

Now, Pedestal Oil wants to drill for oil and gas there.

Despite the cold reception from the community, the company believes development might help cut back on crime.

They would build a 6-foot tall fence around their wells, hire security and set up cameras.

“We are going to install security cameras pointing in all directions to record the coming and going of anyone that might be interested in our operation," Tim Altendorf, with Pedestal Oil, said.

Oh, so you're just going to install security cameras that point in all directions around the lake? Well, sign us up then! That's not creepy or weird or big brotherish. You're just going to record what citizens do at the lake during their own private time. I'm sure that info will be safe, and there will not be any violation of privacy. Maybe you can also screen our phone calls for telemarketers or sort through our mail and throw away junk mail? You know, while you're being so nice.

Seriously, no wonder these people want to drill at the lake so bad. They're freaking perverts! Like a few security cameras are really going to stop gay men from cruising at a secluded, heavily wooded park. If anything, it will probably encourage them. Just ask the folks at Hobby Lobby how well cameras work. Their stores still show up on gay cruising sites despite the company putting secret, hidden cameras in all their bathrooms.

Here are a few other thoughts / comments / notes:

• Can you imagine if the government proposed something like this? There would be a Sooner Tea Party convention at the Lake Hefner Light House within a week.

• I appreciate the frackers concerns, but they're not really solving the problem here. They're just moving it somewhere else. Let's hope that somewhere else is Sally Kern's backyard.

• City Councilman Ed Shadid is hosting an event called "Water: A Town Hall Meeting" for Thursday, January 22nd to further discuss the Lake Hefner fracking issue. You can RSVP by clicking here.

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