Since we also want to get a lot of page views, we decided to come up with a list of "10 Oklahoma Reporters, Now and Then." It's LOL adorable.
The post is part of our renewed commitment to ridicule and mock the The Oklahoman whenever possible. I think we're going to do something like this as a response to all their awful clickbait, so next week when you see a post on here titled "10 Oklahoma Country Musicians Who Don't Look Like Cats" or "You Won't Believe What Happens When This Dog Reads a Jenni Carlson Column," you'll understand why.
Anyway, to the post. Here are 10 Oklahoman Reporters, Now and Then...
10. Boomer (Berry) Tramel
According to sources, Boomer Tramel didn't smoke a lot of pot in college. He's just one of those guys who permanently looks, acts, thinks, and speaks like he just rolled a joint in a gas station bathroom.
9. Brianna Bailey
Before she ripped off our story ideas, Brianna Bailey was rolling joints in gas station bathrooms and speaking to them in some weird language called Fugazi.
8. Steve Lackmeyer
The only thing that Steve Lackmeyer loves more than tall buildings, Hobbie's Hoagies and arguing with people on Twitter is bringing up the little known fact that he had a brief appearance in the wonderful "Don't Lay That Trash On Oklahoma" commercial.
7. Heather Warlick
If we were to list the 5 Hottest Women in the Oklahoma City Print News Media, I'd say that Heather would make the top 3. She's also quite an accomplished actress, as you can see from her resume that we found online:
First of all, Heather was a stand-in and stunt double for Jami Gertz in Twister. She was the actress who played the role of annoying stereotypical Oklahoman.
Heather was also in a band called "Dave and the Wavetones." I bet that's Dave Morris's house band that people who are on a budget hire for weddings that they know will probably end in a divorce.
Speaking of Dave Morris...
6. Dave Morris
He hasn't aged much over the years. Staring in a mirror all day will do that to some people.
5. Nolan Clay
You know how some girls have bitch face? Well, Nolan Clay is a member of the "Always Look Like I'm Taking A Dump" face club.
And not only is he a member, but he's the president.
4. Silas Allen
Silas is a "Breaking News" and "General Assignment" reporter for The Oklahoman. Over the past few years, he's lost weight, his sideburns and his vision. Next up on the list? His virginity.
3. Helen Ford Wallace
Helen Ford Wallace has covered the society beat for The Oklahoman since she was a flapper in the roaring twenties. She's seen more Gaylords get married and have babies than a bouncer at The Boom.
2. Mike Baldwin
I don't know about you, but I miss old Beat Baldwin. I heard he ran away and had digitial babies with Wendy from Wimgo.