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ICYMI

The Oklahoman is documenting its own sad, inevitable demise…

2:40 PM EST on November 18, 2014

Apparently, the editors of The Oklahoman get a kick out of watching their own funeral.

Last week, "The State's Most Oldest News" debuted a new series where they pick 11 lucky subscribers to have donuts and coffee with The Oklahoman editor, Kelly Dyer Fry, and discuss the newspaper.

Well, at least that's what they claim is going on. I bet the whole thing was just a lure to pre-sell obituaries. As we know, The Oklahoman will do just about anything for extra cash. Just check out the photo:

oklahoman subscriber

You know how law firms will sometimes use a cliché line like "Our attorneys have over 300 years combined experience in banking law." Well, those 11 Oklahoman subscribers have about 700 years experience reading the newspaper.

Seriously, no wonder the newspaper industry is dying. When your customer base is composed of people who write checks, watch CSI and still have landline telephones, you may have some problems. I can't tell if they're talking about newspapers or conducting a focus group for Polident.

If you want to see something even more depressing than this photo, check out this video NewsOK.com put together about the event. They even converted it into black and white to mimic the old talkies their readers watched as kids.

The best part, and I'm not joking, is where Jenni Carlson's mom chimes in to say: "I like Jenni Carlson real well... I just like how she says things."

Check it out:

That sound you heard was Wava from Hear Again buying a new block of ads in The Oklahoman. If you want to reach old people, I'd suggest advertising there, the Yellow Pages or the Trinity Gardens newsletter.

Here are some other observations:

1:22: Kelly Dyer Fry says something to the effect of "Do we always get it right on the nose? Not every day. But that's our goal." That should be the paper's new tagline: "Our goal is to try to get things right."

1:32: Jenni Carlson's mom.

2:02: This guy proclaims that he "likes that opinion" page:

nesok opion dude

I'm not sure what's more embarrassing. Is it admitting to that or saying Jenni Carlson is your favorite writer?

4:12: The young kid in the group, a well-spoken gentleman who appears to be in his early 50's, humble brags that he subscribes to the Wall Street Journal.

4:38: A couple of old guys make fun of young people, cell phones and social media. One of them even says "I don't understand that."

At the end of the video, Kelly Dyer Fry explains that they're going to have these "meet and greets" once a month. Hopefully for the next one they have more than 11 people show up. If they want to do that, they should have the meeting at Luby's.

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