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College Football Musings from the Train: Dumpster Fire Edition


The above pic is obligatory, and does not accurately reflect my mood as I delve into this week's round of awfulness.

Now to the column I was forced to write...


10) Oklahoma and Baylor


There was Kansas State in 2003. USC in 2004. Texas in 2005. West Virginia in 2007. Oklahoma State 2011. Baylor 2013. All blow out losses. All to pretty damn good teams.

This one was different. It was in Norman. Against Baylor.




Where does one begin? Sam Adams Winter Lager was released this past week. So there is that. Which is awesome.

Then there was Saturday afternoon. Not so awesome.

The final numbers:

45. The points scored in the final three quarters (all by Baylor).

97. Oklahoma's total yards during the second half.

31 to 13. First downs achieved by each team.

2 to 0. Number of testicles owned by Art Briles versus those owned combined by the entire OU coaching staff.

Not really sure where to go from there. Bend over?

How about this? Oklahoma was completely undressed Saturday by an above average Baylor squad 48-14, in a game where the final score is not indicative of how bad the Sooners were destroyed by the Bears. Oklahoma had no answer for literally anything Baylor threw at them, particularly in the second half, when the Sooners were outgained by nearly 250 yards. The Sooners were embarrassed on both sides of the ball Saturday afternoon, and reaped the consequences of fickle OU fan, rightfully so.

Forgetting that OU was outclassed, outplayed and outmanned and likely out-talented on both sides of ball, the Sooners were a clusterfuck of mistakes, mind-boggling penalties and play calls, leading to the shit-kicking some of us had the unfortunate distinction of witnessing Saturday afternoon.

Stoops suffered his first back to back home losses. Baylor won for the first time in Norman ... and beat a ranked team on the road for the first time since 1991. Yes, Baylor hadn't beat a ranked team since I was 14, ugly as sin, and fatter than a double stuffed Oreo. Baylor was 0-37 against ranked teams on the road prior to Saturday.

ZERO and 37.

As will be discussed below, this was a global shitshow. The offense, especially in the second half, was awful at best, debilitating at worst. Mike Stoops did a fantastic job of sucking the life out of all OU fans. Michael Honeycutt proved he has the confidence of a virgin at prom. Heupel proved he's a damn idiot.

Oklahoma had every chance to show the country they were who I thought they were. They failed.


9) The Mistakes

Amazing this needs its own headline ...

Let's start with Trevor Knight, who hopefully is OK and didn't sustain a significant injury despite being carted off the field Saturday afternoon. Knight went all 2013, finishing 12 for 27 forms paltry 146 yards. More over, he amassed a total of one rushing yard the final 30 minutes.

But that doesn't really sum up how bad Trevor Knight was Saturday afternoon. He overthrew a wide open Blake bell by 10 feet. He threw the ball right into the hands of a Baylor linebacker twice, the second of which was essentially another pick six. He missed a wide ass open Michiah Quick by 7 yards, which would have resulted in an easy touchdown at the end of the first half. Knight was awful. There is no reason he should be the favorite to start at quarterback next week, much less next fall.

And he was no where near the biggest problem...

• Baylor is staring at a 4th and 2 in Oklahoma territory. Timeout is called. Teams come back on the field, and OU is promptly flagged for 12 men on the field. This coming out of a timeout.

• Baylor has 3rd and 3 going in for a score. OU needs a big defensive play. Instead, Oklahoma calls a timeout because they have 10 men on defense.

• The Sooners' call a punt block against the Bears on 4th and 7 with Baylor holding the ball on their own 25 punting into the wind, and OU promptly gets jacked with a personal foul penalty after roughing the punter. One of the single worst play calls I have seen on Owen Field in 15 years.

Just bullshit after bullshit after bullshit penalty and mistake.



8) & 7) The Offense and Defense

The Oklahoma running backs rushed for 170 yards on 28 carries before the game was over. Knight had a less than 50% completion percentage. One would think perhaps the Sooners should hand the ball off to the guys who are averaging over 6 yards a carry. The Sooners gashed Baylor the first quarter, almost exclusively via run from the running back.


Instead, Heupel allows Knight to pass pass pass pass, then run on his own, then pass pass and pass again.

This is same team that ran for over 500 yards last week. The same team that re-created the quarterback single wing. The same team that in 7 days took the Kansas State pass/run option and used it as their own. And the same team that completely ignored all that above Saturday. Three rushers over 100 yards against ISU. Alex Ross, he of the 10 yard per carry. He of the six touches Saturday for 71 yards. Nope. Not going to play until the game is over.

Why? Why abandon the running back run game? Maybe it was Daryl Williams three holding penalties? Maybe it was Trevor Knight's pinpoint passing? Oklahoma gashed Baylor the first quarter for nearly 100 yards rushing. Then that fat idiot just flat-out gave up the game plan that gave them the lead.

Oh, and let's not forget about that shitass defense. The same defense that was humiliated by an average quarterback. The same defense that refused to adjust to Art Briles' offense. The same defense who refused to bump the Baylor wide receivers. The same defense who refused to stop the dink and dunk offense by stepping up the corners and safeties to harass the Bears' receivers.



6) & 5) The Solutions on Offense and Defense

My opinions regarding Josh Heupel are well-documented. He was hired as the offensive coordinator of a top 5 college football program without earning the position at a lesser or equal program. He shouldn't have been given the job in the first place. He shouldn't be the OC at the end of the season. Yes, he has some good game plans, but the bad outweighs the good and the maddening inconsistency has to stop.

Tangential - Mike Stoops was a bad hire. The facts show he is currently a shitty coordinator. He was great 13 years ago. He is not in 2014. He was a desperate hire by a desperate head coach. He's also related to that coach. The results are brutal.

West Virginia: 2012

OSU: 2012

Baylor: 2013 and 2014

Texas Tech: 2013

Texas: 2014

TCU: 2014

When Bob hired Mike, success was presumed. Any lack of success would put Bob in a bad position, which is where we are now. Mike hasn't improved this defense since he was rehired in 2012. The talent level in the defensive backfield is awful. OU must have the worst safeties in the country. Julian Wilson can't cover a crock pot. The linebackers can't tackle. And Mike flatly refuses follow blueprints against opponents set forth by previous defenses (see West Virginia defensive scheme against Baylor).

How do you beat Baylor? Pressure on the quarterback. Mike's game plan? Rush 3 and play the defensive backs 12 yards off the receivers in some sort of zone bullshit. No, you won't get beat deep (wait a sec ...), but you won't force turnovers and the offense will take your will via long sustained drives.

Mike Stoops hasn't earned another year of coaching this shitstorm. These are his players, his scheme. He has failed the program.

At no point since January of 2001 did I think Stoops wouldn't win a second national championship. That time has now come. There is a plague in the program. Oklahoma lost more than two games in a season once in Stoops' first six seasons. Since 2004, Oklahoma has lost more than two games in a season seven times. Now he has on his hands this bullshit situation - fire your brother and national championship winning quarterback or never win another National Championship.

Stoops won't win another National Championship in Norman.


4) The Tailgate

So like every other sane OU fan, I left the game early Saturday and attended a pretty badass tailgate put on by the Lawton, Oklahoma elite, including but not limited to the Air Comfort Solutions owner, Paul Thompson, and other Lawton alums who didn't fall victim to Vicodin or crack addiction.

I don't really have much else to say about Saturday except the tailgate was the highlight of the afternoon. A tailgate with people from LAWTON was the highlight of my Gameday experience.



3) Auburn and Utah Fumble Away the Games

Some way, some how, Texas A&M was able to stay with Auburn at Auburn Saturday evening. After falling behind by three scores, primarily due to a blocked field goal being returned for a touchdown, the Tigers were able to muster a last minute, game tying or game winning scoring drive, only to have it all go to shit because of this:

Go home Auburn offense. You're drunk OU offense.

And then Utah went and trumped that ridiculousness.

Leading by a touchdown early in the second quarter, Utah completed what appeared to be a 79 yard touchdown pass to go up 14-0 at home against Oregon.

Until this happened:

Instead of being up by two scores, Oregon ties the game and never looks back in defeating Utah on the road.


2) Final Four

Florida State - After two months of football, one indelible fact is obvious: no one is really any good at college football this year.

Oregon - The Ducks are starting to roll. The Pac-12 conference title game will be for a birth in the Playoff.

Mississippi State - Shit gets real this week as the Bulldogs travel to Tuscaloosa.

TCU - Hammered a pretty good Kansas State team. Schedule is a breeze here on out.


1) Predictions

Oklahoma at Texas Tech

A single #$%^& I do not give. Berry Tramel was right, though. OU is the most disappointing team in the country. Watch them screw around and lose in Lubbock this weekend.

Texas Tech: 45
Oklahoma: 31

Texas at OSU

Texas is getting better much better. OSU is going in the opposite direction.

Texas: 28
OSU: 10

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