And I thought mispronouncing the word "Grotto" on a national radio show was going to be the highlight of my weekend.
Yesterday afternoon, while you were watching football or enjoying the record-breaking October heat, Marla Morgan, the wife of KFOR Chief Meteorologist Mike Morgan, chugged a bottle of Relax and sent us another email.
Here's what the former Miss Rodeo USA had to say:
Dearest Patrick,
I'm still basking in the afterglow of being your recent Hot Girl Friday (HGF)....I can't tell you how many doors it has opened and closed for me. I'm about to start calling you "Hef!"
Since you really do need updated pic's, I thought I would send you a few of me without makeup from this past weekend.....besides being GREEN, do you know what I am? Here is a hint: I like your picture of extra large....um....brains from Star Trek and I love the best James T. Kirk of all time, William Shatner....I would be his squeeze.
Happy Halloween, and you know, once you go green, you never go back!
XOXO, Marla
Uhm, will you all please add "Mike Morgan's Basement" to the list of places to look if I ever turn up missing? Seriously, I'm pretty fucking terrified that I'm going to be kidnapped and end up in there, and I'm even more terrified that I don't know who's going to be responsible for it. Will it be Mike, Marla or will they co-conspire and pay Reed Timmer to do it? The only thing that's certain is that they'll use Emily Sutton as a lure.
Anyway, let's check out these pics that Marla emailed to us.
Oh, so Marla wasn't lying. She really did get out the green body paint. I did some research, and I'm pretty sure Marla is either...
- The Jolly Green Giant's Mistress
- Jabba the Hutt's Dancer Girl that gets fed to that monster
- An Orion Slave Girl.
Considering she referenced Star Trek in the email, I'm going to go with Orion Slave Girl. For what it's worth, I think her friend was an ice storm on acid.
Here's another pic:
Well, I hope there was a guy wearing a Free Mammogram Booth costume to go along with Ms. Boob Headlights. Also, do all Orion Slave Girls have weird eyes, or did Marla recently discover the red eye filter in Photoshop?
Here's the final pic:
Holy shit! Some guy dressed up as Bob Barry Jr. for the Halloween party. That's hysterical. I bet the name of his costume was "I don't know, buddy! Why don't you tell me?!"
Anyway, know who is noticeably absent in all the photos? That would be Mike Morgan. I bet he skipped the party because Marla wanted him to dress as a Ferengi trader, or perhaps he just wanted to stay at home and play with trains. Who knows. I'll probably find out the morning I wake up in his basement.
