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Mary Fallin is getting her satanic groups all confused…

National Governors Association (NGA) Chair Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin, center, speaks to reporters outside the White House in Washington, Monday, Feb. 24, 2014, following a meeting between President Barack Obama and members of the NGA. From left are, Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley, Fallin, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, and Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Mary Fallin, Martin O'Malley, Peter Shumlin, Bobby Jindal,

Mary Fallin won't be going to a Satanic bean feed anytime soon.

Yesterday, our Governor issued a strongly worded statement against the satanic Black Mass that's planned for the Civic Center in September. Through mid-July, the event has sold about 30 tickets. Expect that to double with this additional round of publicity.

In a Mary Fallin campaign hallmark, our Governor blamed out-of-state liberals and elitists for a problem that's actually being caused by hard-working Oklahomans.

Check it out:

Governor Mary Fallin today condemned a scheduled performance of a satanic black mass next month in Oklahoma City.

“This ‘Black Mass’ is a disgusting mockery of the Catholic faith, and it should be equally repellent to Catholics and non-Catholics alike,” said Fallin. “It may be protected by the First Amendment, but that doesn’t mean we can’t condemn it in the strongest terms possible for the moral outrage which it is. It is shocking and disgusting that a group of New York City ‘satanists’ would travel all the way to Oklahoma to peddle their filth here. I pray they realize how hurtful their actions are and cancel this event.

I hate to get caught up on a minor detail here, but technically New York City 'Satanists' don't have anything to do with the Black Mass at the Civic Center. It's actually being organized by Oklahoma City resident Adam Daniels. He's part of a satanic sect called the Dakhma of Angra Mainyu (seriously). Basically, he's an Oklahoma born filth peddler.

I guess Mary must be confusing Adam's group with the Baphomet monument building Satanic Temple out of New York. That's kind of like mistaking a cynical Catholic school girl for a bible thumping Baptist preacher's daughter. There's a big difference between the two groups. The Satanic Temple is more of an atheist, anti-religion activist group than a bunch of devil worshippers, where the Oklahoma City Beelzebub Fan Club really does worship satanic deities.

Perhaps if Mary knew a little more about satan, she wouldn't make these mistake. Our very own Louis Fowler profiled the Oklahoma City Satanist group and took part in a black mass for the Red Dirt Report back in July. From his description, the OKC Satanists basically seem like a bunch of Dungeons and Dragons players who get together and do some freaky devil worshiping S&M on the weekends:

The designated nun simulated urinating into a cup (real urine is not used, I am gladfully informed). This cup is given to the high priest and, using a rather large rubber phallus, sloshes the five corners of the room in a filthy blessing of sorts.

(Even though they told me of the liquid’s status, I still made sure to clear myself from the path of any subsequent splashing.)

After the room was sufficiently doused, a communion wafer was lifted towards the chilling goat head on the wall and various blasphemous curses dedicated to Jesus Christ are cast on the wafer. The wafer is placed near the flesh-altar’s vaginal area for an extra little bit of offensiveness and then thrown to the ground and stomped on viciously by the parishioners, some of whom are conveniently wearing Doc Marten’s for good measure.

Believe it or not, it’s all actually far less sensationalistic than the press has made it out to be.

I bet when Mary read that, the first thing that popped in her head was "Kinky."

Anyway, I don't know who Adam Daniels is, but he must be doing something right. He's got an archaic group of pedophile protectors and a hypocritical moralist governor against him. Plus, he was able to convince a woman to convert to Satanism, dress as a nun, and then pretend to pee into a cup that will be spread around a room in a metal dildo. I'm not sure which one is more impressive.

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