The 28th Annual Heartland Emmy Awards were held in Oklahoma City this past weekend. The prestigious event honors excellence in local TV broadcasting, which may just be the greatest oxymoron ever written.
Seriously, they actually give awards to the local news media. That's rich. This year's categories must have included "Best Use of Fear and Alarm to Drive Ratings," "Best Investigative Report Into A Tree Trimmer Who Defrauded An Elderly Couple Out Of $1,500," and "Outstanding Achievement In Measuring Snow With A Wooden Ruler While Standing At An Intersection."
The big winners of the night were Ali Meyer's viking hat and David Payne and the News 9 Weather Team. David celebrated the event by issuing the following tweet:
Yeah, that's kind of cool. News 9 did probably provide the best coverage of the May 2013 tornado outbreak but... didn't Lord England lead that coverage? If so, shouldn't Mr. Severe Weather Holiness have been on stage receiving the award and tweeting pics of his team instead of David Payne?
Based on this now deleted tweet by the Almighty, I think we know the answer:
Okay, there are two ways to interpret that tweet:
1. Gary England is giving David Payne a good-natured ribbing. Gary sometimes likes to joke around, which explains all the record rainfall we received in June 2007.
2. Gary England is irritated that David Payne is getting all the attention.
Considering Lord England's tweet was deleted, I'm going to lean towards "Option 2." I can't blame him. If Paul posted an Instagram photo with his "team" of disciples after receiving an award for excellence in baptisms, I bet Jesus would get pretty upset, too.
2. Where was David Payne?For some reason, Gary’s heir apparent was not a part of last night’s broadcast. Usually for things like this they trot out the successor, shake hands, pass the torch and all that good stuff. Not only was that pomp and circumstance routine missing from the broadcast, but David Payne’s name wasn’t mentioned once. Should we read anything into that? Probably not, but since I love controversy, I will.
Then again, maybe this is just a case of Gary wanting to not so casually remind David Payne that he's still the fucking silverback in these parts. Years before David Payne chased tornados with his Scream Chamber, Gary England was attacking the damn things head on with a golden sickle while riding a luck dragon. David Payne gets caught in a tornado and tries to drive away. Gary England walks into a tornado and asks for breakfast.