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Over the past few days, a bizarre news story claiming that Oklahoma citizens have threatened to 'secdee' from the United States if Cosmos isn't removed from local television has gone viral.
It was first reported by the Topekas News on April 10th. I'm shocked that the KFOR Social Media Bandit and /or the NewsOK.com Digital Desk have failed to h/t it:
Oklahoma Protesters Threaten to “Secdee” From Union if Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s Cosmos is not Cancelled.
Concerned Oklahomas gather to protest the airing of Cosmos, citing the show’s agenda is ‘clearly anti-Christian and biased against creationist values.’ Citizens have threatened to vote to ‘secdee’ [sic] from the United States during the 2014 gubernatorial and ballot issue election if Cosmos is not formally removed from all Oklahoma based television networks.
Saddlebridge Township, Oklahoma – Furious parents and citizens of Oklahoma took to the streets early Thursday, protesting against Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s Cosmos. Protesters allege the show is blatantly promoting an anti-Creationist agenda and is ‘standing against the Judeo-Christian moors and values of the Saddleback Township community and others nationwide.”
The first protests against Cosmos in the community took place some two weeks ago, after a local paper claimed an airing of Cosmos in a school caused several children to experience ‘demonic possession’. Parents cite one kid became completely enamored with the show during a terrifyingly supernatural event linked with Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s narrative explaining the “God of the Gaps” theory.
Several weeks ago, citizens accused Tyson of using his Cosmos program to forward other agendas, not limited to a ‘homogay’ agenda, wizardry/haroldry, astrology and other vehemently anti-Christian teachings.
Concerned parents have accused Neil DeGrasse Tyson of ‘Ra’ worship and iconography, going as far as saying the titular narrator may be involved in a Wiccan Sun occult.
Delores Simmons, whose child was involved in the prior airing of Cosmos that precipitated the anti-science scare in Oklahoma, claims petitions are already going about to elect pro-Creation candidates for upcoming elections.
“If we allow this Tyson to keep publicly airing his beliefs, God just may strike us down with a cosmic meteor this summer. That would be ironic justice if you ask me, so we should just take this show off now before that happens.”
Other citizens in Oklahoma agree. The latest Rasmussen polls on the subject show that over 64% people in Oklahoma feel Cosmos is dangerous and carries a strong anti-theist and Creation message.
Pretty crazy, huh? It would be even crazier if the report was true. At last check, there's no Saddlebridge Township, Oklahoma, no Rasmussen polls asking about how Oklahomans feel about Cosmos, and no petition to make us "secdee" from the US. The picture they used was taken in Texas in 2011.
If that joke seemed pretty obvious to you, congrats. You have common sense. If it fooled you, well, don't feel alone. Thousands of other idiots shared the story on Facebook and Twitter thinking it was totally real. Here are some Twitter examples:
Still the best story ever: OK protesters threaten to "secdee" from Union if @neiltyson's Cosmos is not cancelled http://t.co/3MtnOVIJm5
— Joy-Ann (Pro-Democracy) Reid 😷 (@JoyAnnReid) April 14, 2014
In current news, despite educational television programs, Oklahomans still display dangerously low IQ levels... http://t.co/YS4omvjxDL
— Bob Brown (@karmutsen) April 15, 2014
It's almost as damaging as people who don't read the articles they tweet about.
Yes, it's true. Okie's protest "Cosmos" on television by threatening to secede. The suspense is killing me. http://t.co/DUp1DLlqU5
— Steve Anthony (@Steves_Mind) April 12, 2014
No, it's not true.
I facepalmed my entire face off while reading this:http://t.co/ewGbPidWlN
— Chris Gonzales (@Gromble) April 14, 2014
Guys. Get me out of this horrible state. *Please*.
Hopefully you also facepalm from reading this.
I think I'm going to start incorporating fake Rasmussen polls into our posts. According to a Rasmussen poll, 87% of the people who thought Oklahomans really threatened to secede over a TV show are idiots.
You cannot make this shit up. Oklahoma protestors threaten to SECDEE from the Union over @COSMOSonTV http://t.co/2JFvtatCYB @neiltyson
— Jilly (@JillyEnFuego) April 14, 2014
Yeah, actually you can.
People are dumb, especially when it comes to religion and science. http://t.co/iicNYoLvI0
— T.Shankles (@TShwizzle92) April 14, 2014
I agree 100%. People are dumb.
These folks are just STUPID!: OK protesters threaten to "secdee" from Union if @neiltyson's Cosmos is not cancelled http://t.co/LlUSurVIxX”
— Tiara Rochelle (@BusyBeeT) April 14, 2014
But I know someone who is even more stupid.
Not The Onion http://t.co/ymREO1UWgV
— T. Trent Gegax (@gegax) April 15, 2014
Sadly, this is not from The Onion. http://t.co/TDbJjmczCp
— Carl Christman (@carlchristman) April 13, 2014
Wish this was an Onion story. Sadly not. // “@monteiro: Concerned Oklahomas gather to protest the airing of Cosmos. http://t.co/DrESMm1o2U”
— 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕫 (@braz) April 14, 2014
Sadly, those guys think the Onion is the only website that makes fake news.
Even Booty Invader was duped!
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Anyway, that was a pretty good fake news story. It's kind of like the Oklahoman's "Green Dragon" classified ad only original and funny. If you see somebody post it on FB and Twitter, be sure to remind them they're an idiot. Or better yet, just send them here and let them figure it out on their own.