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Christina Fallin works for So6ix and is trying to corrupt Emily Sutton…

emily sutton cold

If you're wondering why I spent the entire weekend huddled in a corner mumbling "Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Miiiiiiiiiike," this explains why.

Last week, KFOR's Emily Sutton and Scott "J'Ordy" Hines participated in a photo shoot for So6ix magazine. The entire thing was overseen by Christina Fallin. Yeah, Hipster Boo Boo now works for So6ix. More on that later.

Here's a pic from the photo shoot that Emily tweeted last week. I must warn you it's pretty graphic:

emily sutton christina fallin

Before my mind explodes, there's a lot to go over here. The first and most obvious is WHAT IS EMILY DOING!!! She made her mark in OKC by being this sweet affable adorable nerdy girl next door that everyone likes. It's how she won all those Ogle Madnesses and became the weather princess she is today. Now I'm worried we may be losing her. She's enjoying her popularity and fame a little too much. She has a serious fireman boyfriend and is yakking it up with our Governor's weirdo hipster daughter. Maybe next week she'll get caught drag racing Big Chief from Street Outlaws and be thrown in jail, prompting everyone in OKC to post side-by-side comparisons of Emily and Justin Bieber's mugshots.

The other news item here is that Christina Fallin now apparently works for So6ix. I guess she's the Creative Director or consultant or something, which means the magazine's going to somehow get even worse. Seriously, Christina Fallin partnering up with Jack McBride? Is that ego stew even legal? It's like a merger of the two great douche houses of Oklahoma City. Affliction shirts and Chanel scarves are becoming one. Friday lunches will be catered by Baker's Street and Ludivine. Also, how will the magazine publish if Christina and Jack both spend the entire day looking in the mirror?

Anyway, I'm not into conspiracy theories or anything, but it's pretty obvious that Jack and Christina are doing this to get even with us. It makes too much sense. I bet the photoshoot is all part of some master plan they drew up in their underground Lab of Pretension to get Emily to convert to the Douche Side, and in the process, make us all really depressed. Step One: Get Emily Sutton to pose for a photo shoot. Step Two: Convince her to dye her hair pink and buy all her clothing from Gil's. Step Three: Wedding in Ireland. At that point, Emily's conversion would be complete. Awful thought, huh?

All that being said, I have faith that Emily is more Luke than Anakin and is able resist the overtures from these agents of the Dark Lord of Trying Too Hard. My only concern is Christina and Jack putting Emily on the cover of the magazine and reawakening the So6ix cover curse. That's a wild card, and if it happens, we're ready to intervene. We have Reed Timmer and Jonathan Conder on standby to rescue Emily if needed. If they fail, we'll call on Jedi OKC. Sure, we've made fun of them in the past, but they're the only people with the Jedis, Stormtroopers, X-wing pilots and three Boba Fett costumes to pull this off. May the Force be with them. 

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