2013 Year in Review: September
12:00 PM EST on December 26, 2013
September's number one song was Roar by Katy Perry. In the video she gets stranded in the jungle and her boyfriend gets eaten by a tiger but she perseveres and makes a life for herself full of important things like nail polish and lipstick. It's like if the show LOST was made by a 6-year-old girl. I wish I could've gotten stranded in the jungle with Katy Perry. Good for me but bad for her. Ain't no beautiful ladies penciling in any makeout sesh's with this fella!
Vote for your favorite September article!
What We Said: "Gary England was a special guest on last night’s Colbert Report. The whole event was kind of surreal. It was kind of like watching He-Man and Optimus Prime team up to defeat Skeletor and Sally Kern on a Friday night in the big town, only more fun."
What We Learned: Gary England can hold his own on a national level. We all knew that though. As previously mentioned, he's God.
Fun Fact: The universe came dangerously close to imploding when the picture above was taken.
Best Comment: "Years ago, when people thought of Oklahoma, they thought, “Grapes of Wrath,” and Bud Wilkinson. Now, when they think of Oklahoma, I hope they think, “Gary England.”I am am totally cool with that."- NotThatPhil
What We Said: "One thing I do know is that nobody seems to like Oklahoma State Superintendent Janet Barresi. She’s about as popular as Thayer Evans is at Eskimo Joes. I don’t think there’s one educator in our state that can stand her. They hate her attitude, fringe conservative ideology and general ineptness.
What We Learned: Some of the comments were an even more in-depth look at the woman in charge of educating your children. We're in fine shape, Oklahoma. Fine shape.
Fun Fact: We can't be surprised if the next generation of kids is more dumb than the current generation. I'm not sure that's possible.
Best Comment: "This would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic and embarrassing. No wonder they don’t want to make graduating seniors pass core tests, because most of Barresi’s office would fail!"- Cynical Chris
What We Said: "According to SI.com, the OSU football program was an out of control monster where athletes took cash, cheated on tests, smoked marijuana and had sex with girls. Basically, they acted and behaved like college students."
What We Learned: The SI article wasn't that bad. Also, when your school is run by Mr. Burns you think a magazine article is going to hurt anything? You're wrong.
Fun Fact: People still act surprised young, dumb, athletes do things young, dumb, people do and get away with it. It's not fair, but this has and will always be the rule. Welcome to Earth.
Best Comment: "Seriously, who gives a shit?"- Terry
What We Said: "If you haven’t been paying attention – and let’s be honest, hopefully you haven’t – there’s apparently been a lot a controversy surrounding the 2013 Pride of Oklahoma marching band."
What We Learned: Band nerds can be whiny divas, just like athletes. The difference is no one is buying a jersey with a band member's face on it.
Fun Fact: I have to believe this act of presenting band demands was all a ploy for some guy to impress some sweet marching band tang. I bet it didn't work.
Best Comment: "I lost brain cells reading this."- Brian
What We Said: "Lately, a few red flags have come up that have many people worried about the logistics of the festival. I’m not even talking about security, police forces, or Oklahoma’s strict and silly marijuana laws. It seems most of the cyber rioting stems from festival and campsite rules. I’ve rounded up some ticked-off Facebook posts via the Gentlemen of the Road Guthrie Stopover page."
What We Learned: Despite all the pre-show complaining the festival was a success. I know a lot of people who went and I didn't hear one complaint. Guthrie did quite well for itself. Kudos, Guthrie.
Fun Fact: The only t-shirt cannon at the show was made possible by me in that I delivered it. So, you're welcome, sweaty hipsters!
Best Comment: "There’s even people complaining about the Union Jack that was painted on one of the intersections."- No Debbie Downer
What We Said: "We have obtained through the Ogle Mole Network a Chesapeake email that suggests the company could layoff 500 employees or more from its OKC campus within the next 90 days."
What We Learned: Sure enough, Chesapeake ended up laying off 640 people a few weeks later.
Fun Fact: Aubrey McClendon received a $47 million severance package. Wait. That's not fun at all.
Best Comment: "Somebody with a big title just guaranteed themselves a big fourth quarter profit. Just in time for bonus season’s greetings."- Howdy
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