When trying to find a noteworthy thing that happened on a national level in August 2013, nothing came up. Not a thing. This means August was the most boring month of all time. So to offset the lack of anything worthy of writing, I went ahead and posted a video of Hulk Hogan's theme song. Hulk is a real American like Sarah Palin, those Duck Dynasty hillbillies and Kim Kardashian. Yeesh. The August connection? Hulk was born August 11th so now you can stop Googling "Hulk Hogan's Birthday" all the time.
Here's your top TLO August stories!
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6. The one where Mike Morgan's wife e-mails us some vacation photos
Published: 08/20/2013
What We Said: "Depending on your point of view, we have good news and bad news. Mike Morgan isn’t going anywhere. He’s just on an extended European vacation. We know this because his Ogle Mole of a wife Marla randomly sent us a few photos. Yep, Marla Morgan sent us photos…again. One of them even made me blush."
What We Learned: Once again, Marla Morgan enjoys sending us photos.
Fun Fact: Mike Morgan makes enough money to travel the globe. I've eaten ramen for the last three weeks. That'll teach me to not become a meteorologist. Stupid home school guidance counselor mom.
Best Comment: "That was real nice of her to send you guys these pics. Can’t imagine WHY she did, but there it is."- Radio Listener
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5. Olivia Munn opened up to John Stamos about losing her virginity
Published: 08/01/2013
What We Said: "Former PC North and OU student – and for some reason Hollywood A-lister – Olivia Munn is a guest on a new Yahoo web series called Losing It With John Stamos. It’s a show where Uncle Jesse talks with celebrities about how, where and why they lost their virginity."
What We Learned: We learned there's few things creepier than Uncle Jesse talking with someone younger than DJ Tanner about the first time they got it on. It was weird. -Insert Greek Yogurt Joke Here-
Fun Fact: Spencer Hicks's all time favorite celebrity crush is Olivia Munn. He cannot get enough of her. All the time talking about how pretty she is and how he loves her face so much. He means Olivia Munn or Sally Kern. We can never tell.
Best Comment: "I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for the phrase, “Academy Award Winner/Nominee” to appear before her name anytime soon though."- Charlie Foxtrot
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4. 13 Things the Gazette's Best of OKC Got Wrong
Published: 08/22/2013
What We Said: Uhm, how did this happen? I thought everyone was supposed to go vote for Daily Thunder. Maybe our readers got the “Best of OKC” confused with the “Worst of OKC.” Based on all the hate mail we receive, that wouldn’t surprise me.
What We Learned: OKC has a lot of "Best Of" winners that should be "Not Worth Considerings." Maybe it's Zio's buys a bunch of ad space with the Gazette? I don't know. I really don't know.
Fun Fact: We bought zero dollars in ad space yet still won. Suck on that, Overpriced Olive Garden Zio's!
Best Comment: "All they do is give a thumbs-up to their advertisers. Has nothing to do with the best."- Ringo
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3. Fake Miss Oklahoma appeared on Sean Hannity's FOX show to discuss Twitter Trolls
Published: 08/08/2013
What We Said: "In case you missed it, and you probably did, singer-songwriter indie god Ryan Adams trolled cartoonish conservative freak show Sean Hannity on Twitter earlier this week. Because we live in a bizarre 21st century world where things like this happen, Sean Hannity invited ”Miss Oklahoma 2013″ Anna Marie Costello on his show to talk about it. That’s cool. There’s only one problem. That wasn’t really Miss Oklahoma."
What We Learned: Sean Hannity's producers are probably straight from the OPUBCO school of journalism. "Did we check someone we're putting on a national television show? No? Well thank god the internet isn't a thing."
Fun Fact: "I didn't achieve my talent by insulting people. I have a sense of character and integrity." is a direct quote from fake Miss Oklahoma. So the woman who didn't even win the thing she's claiming to have won has integrity? To be fair to FOX News that's the least damaging lie that network has broadcast.
Best Comment: "I think it’s about time for a Miss Lost Ogle." - RJF
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2. 2013 Worst of OKC Douchebag
Published: 08/20/2013
What We Said: "I know a lot about douchebags. You tend to gain a working knowledge of such things if you’ve ever been to a night club, or talked to any of the guys my ex-girlfriends have left me for. It’s not something I’m glad I know, but I know it."
What We Learned: I don't think the fans of Discovery's "OKC Car go Zoom-Zoom Fast" are aware "Worst Douchebag" is a bad thing. Big Chief from "Street Outlaws" won by over 1700 votes beating out Christina Fallin and Jack McBride. That's not right. That's not right at all.
Fun Fact: Of the list of potential nominees to be crowned worst douchebag, Big Chief should have been last. By a lot.
Best Comment: "I came to this page just so I could vote for Ryan Tate…
However I’m sure he would win for years to come. I guess it’s smart to give other douchebags a shot at the title."- Apple Jones
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1. About the topless pics of wild topless OU sorority girl pics that made the internet
Posted: 08/22/2013
What We Said:"Out of all the pics floating around, that’s all you’re going to get from us. After some careful deliberation – and advice from several attorneys – we’re not posting anything else."
What We Learned: That it's really hard not objectify women when they do things like this. Good lord women. I will say these pictures pretty much reinforced every stereotype sorority girls have. Well done, ladies.
Fun Fact: I saw the unedited pictures and it made me miss college. Well, I didn't go to college but I did crash a lot of frat parties and they were exactly what you'd think they'd be. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Boozed up drunk 19 year old girls everywhere. Any parent who thinks it's not "their daughter"? It is.
Best Comment: "Well crap…I googled and nothing…..Call me a perv but boobs are something that everyone can enjoy."- Dr. Hans Von Boober
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