May of 2013 was the month Will Smith and his son decided to show the world that taking a once promising director, nepotism and a 130 million dollar budget just to watch the brother of the girl who sang "Whip my Hair" traipse around a CGI Earth for 100 minutes is a great way to waste 130 million dollars. Well, not "great" but a way. Alfonso Ribiero had to secretly be super happy about that movie tanking. He and Uncle Phil had a good laugh about that until their break was over. My cold cut combo isn't gonna make itself, Carlton!
May also precedes June, unless you're the Lost Ogle and Joel someone screws something up. That guy. So here's a look at last week's "Best of" posts. Sans May.
On to this week's stories! In order!
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6. At least this Memphis Grizzlies blogger didn’t call a Thunder Girl “chunky”
Published: 05/7/13
What We Said: Yep, some blogger decided to judge all Thunder fans and the entire organization based upon a Sunday morning playoff game. That’s about as fair as criticizing the looks of a one night stand on the morning after, or forming an opinion on Memphis based on what you’ve seen on the First 48.
What We Learned: Memphis Grizzlies bloggers can be assholes.
Fun Fact: We still need to send that guy a pizza
Best Comment: The guy picked a really bad time to see what its all about. Also, I really want to go to another teams arena and hear people in the crowds yell coaching advice and haller at their own team for bad shots; hilarious. – Brett
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5. Why does Abigail Ogle have so many Twitter followers?
Published: 05/13/13
What We Said: "If you’re really insecure and/or want to look more influential and important than you actually are, you can buy fake Twitter followers. They’re not very expensive. From what I found, they can run as low as $5 per thousand. That’s not as cheap as lying on your Linked In resume, but there are probably worse ways to misrepresent your popularity and influence. Granted, I can’t think of any right now, but I’m sure they exist."
What We Learned: After we posted the original article, her numbers of around 14k followers took a drop. Now it's down to around 8k. Also, none of this matters.
Fun Fact: If I knew buying followers was a thing I wouldn't have put so much time and effort into creating my own religion. All hail Lord Joel.tv!
Best Comment: "How many Ogles are out there? They seem to be multiplying. Should I be worried?"- Confused in Tulsa
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Published: 05/21/13
What We Said: "And then I realize I have no clue what to write."
What We Learned: It's easy to forget this happened just six months ago. I suggest you go read the piece again. It's a good reminder of what we all felt the day after Moore was destroyed. Let's not forget there are some families in our community who are having the worst Christmas imaginable.
Fun Fact: None.
Best Comment: "Thank you for this. I loved and hated you, since you guys started, but this confirmed my love. I forgive you for calling me a teenage girl a few years back. Stay strong Oklahoma."- Trafton Barney
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3. Based on these Facebook posts Derplahomans weren't happy President Obama visited Oklahoma
Published: 05/28/13
What We Said: "In case you missed it, Barack Hussein Obama, the President of the United States of America and the most powerful man in the world, visited Moore to survey destruction, console victims, thank volunteers and first responders, and consult with local leaders following the devastating May 20th tornado. The visit lasted only a few hours and local news stations hyped it on Facebook. This gave the Derplahoman army a chance to pounce."
What We Learned: Oklahoma is a tough place to defend sometimes. We've got the greatest people imaginable, arguably the greatest NBA players, great college football teams, and the prettiest women this side of anywhere. We've also got the worst weather and most closed-minded people imaginable. At the same time! It's the most bipolar community I've ever experienced. "Man, that Muslim family lost everything. Let's help. But don't be bringing any Mooslim President up in mah town! Lying Kenyan! Yeah, but let's get back to helping." I don't understand.
Fun Fact: When the president was here he converted everyone to Islam, took all their guns and then burned a pile of money. Wait. No. No he didn't.
Best Comment: "Good lord my IQ dropped 50 points reading [those Facebook posts]." - Sooner Pride
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2. Oklahoman reporter Zeke Campfield was arrested for allegedly taking upskirt photos
Published: 05/30/13
What We Said: "According to testimony from victims and eye witnesses, Campfield, while working as a photographer for the Oklahoman, intentionally bumped into female students from the tornado ravaged town while attempting to take photographs up their dresses. When confronted, Campfield allegedly deleted the photos from his camera the memory card was not in the camera. He tried to leave the scene, but was held by witnesses until police arrived."
What We Learned: The Moore High School graduation? The same Moore that was decimated by a tornado weeks earlier? That's maybe the lowest thing possible. Allegedly.
Fun Fact: People don't seem to like weird dudes with cameras taking inappropriate pictures of traumatized teenagers. Allegedly.
Best Comment: "Maybe he thought the first amendment granted him freedom up the dress."- RT
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1. 12 amusing and funny pics from OKC's Westboro Baptist Church counter protests
Published: 05/02/13
What We Said: "They brought funny signs, dressed in Daisy Dukes, and even sent over a few glitter farts. The whole counter-protest was funny and amusing, and for the time being, has helped distract me from the Thunder’s piss poor performance against the guys from Houston. That’s why I’m calling it a “bright spot.”
What We Learned: Oklahoma City seems to be getting more liberal by the decade. A snail's pace is still a pace.
Fun Fact: I saw Sally Kern at Target. It has nothing to do with the post other than she's an honorary Westboro Baptist Church member. She was one aisle over from a gay couple looking for a new espresso machine. I didn't have time to stay to see if anything happened. So, yeah.
Best Comment: Well, going back and looking there weren't any good ones. Step it up commentors!
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