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2013 Year in Review: April

8:30 AM EST on December 19, 2013

The song "Thrift Shop" by Snow noted whiny ass Macklemore was the number one song in April 2013. So take that as a lesson, aspiring musicians. If you write a shitty song about thrift shops you too can be a one hit wonder in his 30's who is already a pop culture punch line. Keep at it! Oh, talent not needed by the way. Probably should have mentioned that.

Vote for your favorite April story!


wayne coyne mary fallin

6. Thanks to Mary Fallin 'Do You Realize' is no longer our official state rock song

Published: 04/12/13

What We Said: "Knowing her taste in everything, she probably wanted Hinder or Milk on Milk to have the honor [of official state rock song]."

What We Learned: Despite Wayne Coyne being the de facto king of  the flannel sporting, skinny jean wearing, old timey eyeglass frame having, hipsters of the Plaza District, which is like being mayor of Seattle in the early nineties, 'Do You Realize' is an amazing song. It was awesome we had it as the official state rock song. Leave it to conservatives to just take every cool thing we have and throw it away. Mary Fallin is Oklahoma's uncool mom. "Well, if i don't understand it, it must be bad."

Fun Fact: Putting 'Do You Realize' on a Spotify playlist for a girl works for everyone but anyone actually in the Flaming Lips.

Best Comment: "I never thought I’d be the kind of person to say our governor is a hateful bag of shit, but apparently I am!"- Onlineloser



5. The one where Mary Fallin asks Kevin Ogle about his brother's website The Lost Ogle

Published: 04/15/13

What We Said: "This has been a weird couple of weeks for us. First the Oklahoman acknowledges we’re an online blog, then Mike McCarville refuses to call us obscure, and now the Governor of our state is teasing an Ogle brother about our not-obscure website on an obscure political show. We’re one Jim Traber chasing Gary England around a baseball field moment away from watching our weird little universe collapse upon itself."

What We Learned: Maybe the governor has a good sense of humor. God knows we laugh at most of the most things she's done thus far.

Fun Fact: See the thing about the Flaming Lips. She does not have a good sense of humor. Or one at all.

Best Comment: "Jesus Christ, what a heaping pile of uselessness Flashpoint is."- Steve


4. State Rep Dennis Johnson used the word "Jew" as a verb

Published: 04/18/13

What We Said: "Wow. I’m not politically correct or Jewish and even I found that to be offensive. I hope he never needs a bank loan. Seriously, what was this guy thinking? You’re debating on the floor of the House of Representatives. You’re not drinking a beer in your racist neighbor’s garage. Have a little respect for the venue and keep your prejudiced thoughts in the sheds of rural Oklahoma where they belong."

What We Learned: We learned an "apology" for being antisemitic can actually be more offensive than the original thing that made us all realize you hated Jews. "They're good small businessmen as well." Really? iIt's like he dropped an "n" bomb and then said, "Sorry for using the n word but hey, they're good at sports."

Fun Fact: Getting a laugh from your peers after apologizing to "the Jews" doesn't say a lot for your peers. Get it together, elected representatives.

Best Comment: "I’m offended that you believe you were offended and treated poorly because of being a “Jew”….I get the same treatment from others when I tell them I grew up in El Reno."- Sofakings


reed-timmer -dominator1

3. Mike Morgan has unleashed his new secret weapon

Published: 04/18/13

What We Said: "So not only can [Dominator 4] provide the strength, size and track of a tornado, but Reed can tell you what trees it destroyed, too. That’s impressive. The only thing David Payne could do was smell pine."

What We Learned: That spending all of your time and effort making the best weather vehicle known to man still can't trump fighting fires when it comes to wooing local weather women. I'm never introducing myself to Chief Boyfriend if I see him. No need for a hero's fist in my mouth. Again. 

Fun Fact: Dominator 4 looks like every vehicle the A-Team built at the end of every episode. KFOR needs to produce a Dominator 4 being built montage commercial with Mike Morgan (Hannibal) Reed Timmer (Face), Lucas Ross (Murdock) and Mr. T, now. Like right now.

Best Comment: "If channel 4 gets a POV view from inside a tornado on live air, they win weather coverage."- Fredo


2. Channel 9 totally failed at last night's severe weather coverage

Published: 04/18/13

What We Said: "To say that Channel 9 had too many cooks in the kitchen would be an understatement. It was like watching a group of people have an argument on a reality show; there were lots of screamers, not enough listeners and you really wanted to change the channel."

What We Learned: That if there's too many people talking at once it can get annoying. Like every sports related radio morning show in this market. Each of them.

Fun Fact: Gary England's aggravation at his inability to master touch screen technology drove him to retirement.

Best Comment: "I love how he refers to the touch screen as a “rascal.” That’s his way of calling it a “f**king piece of sh*t that I didn’t want to begin with.”- RJF


anna-megan raley cheerleader

1. Is this the blogger who called our Thunder girl "chunky"?

Published: 04/25/13

What We Said: "I wonder what type of woman would notice, much less criticize on a sports radio blog, the appearance of an NBA dancer in Oklahoma City? My first guess would be a bitter woman. My second would be a 30-year-old woman who tried out as a dancer for a soccer team. There’s a chance that both of my guesses would be correct."

What We Learned: When you say mean things about people who don't deserve it, you can lose your job. Pretty damn quick. Turns out national attention for your company by being caddy isn't something that keeps the paychecks coming in.

Fun Fact: After she got fired she ate herself to obesity and is now a shut in. That's not true, but neither is saying that Thunder girl was chunky. See, we can all make things up.

Best Comment: "If she lived here, I’d be willing to bet she would be the cougar spiking all the younger guys drinks at Russell’s and Groovy’s."- Mary Fallin's Future Lover


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