A few weeks ago while debunking the silly rumor that Severe Weather Diva Emily Sutton was engaged to Scott Hines, we made a sobering discovery. Emily Sutton has a serious boyfriend. Surprisingly, we took the news okay:
I’m going to climb to the top of the Devon Tower and eat at Vast. That will put me out of my misery.
Seriously, Emily Sutton has a boyfriend. And not only that, but he’s a serious one. I wonder what that means? Do they hold hands, share smiles, and fall asleep while watching Netflix together like other serious couples, or is he just too serious?
“Sweetie, look at the beautiful cumulostratus clouds forming on the horizon! Lets sing the weather song and think about puppies!”
“Please don’t bother me right now. I’m balancing my checkbook.”
I guess we’ll be good sports and congratulate Emily Sutton for getting a serious boyfriend. Unless, of course, the serious boyfriend is either Aaron Tuttle and /or drives a Dominator. If that’s the case, I really am going to eat at Vast.
Well, it looks like I get to eat in the Devon cafeteria instead.
Thanks to the wonders of the Ogle Mole Network, we've discovered the identity of Emily's mysterious gentleman caller. His name is Michael Zurmehly. Unless they include clever references to the Shawnee Mall or barrel grinders, please refrain from any "Miiiiiiiiiike!!! Miiiiiiiiiiike!!! Miiiiiiiiiiike!!!" jokes.
Here's a pic of the couple: