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The best gold-plated OU vs. Texas jokes on the Internet…

9:30 AM EDT on October 8, 2013

In case you missed it, OU and Texas both unveiled new gold-plated uniforms that will be worn in Saturday's Red River Rivalry. No, that's not the beginning to one of the best OU - Texas jokes on the Internet. It's real.

Here's a pic of the bedazzled uniforms:

texas-oklahoma-red-river-rivalry-gold-jerseys

Say what you want about OSU's many uniforms. Some work, some don't, but at least we don't have gold leaf on the jerseys.

Anyway, the Red River Rivalry is a long and storied tradition that was started to give fans of both teams the chance to tell the same jokes, but with different teams at the butt of joke. When the jokes didn't do very well, the students were forced to pull pranks, like branding the Texas Longhorn "Bo" with the score 13-0. The Texas students then rebranded it to read, "BevO." Interesting huh? Oh, the Texas team also killed and ate that steer.

Some other interesting facts: Both head coaches make roughly $5 million a year. They each have one national championship. And they both have stupid looking pinkies (Stoops is caused by genetics, Brown's from making the damn Hook'em Horns sign for the past 15 years).

After the jump I'll provide you with the best jokes floating around the internet!

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Texas weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

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Q: Why do University of Oklahoma fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: Did you hear about the fire at the University of Texas football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

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Q: What do you call an Oklahoma State Cowboy in a BCS bowl game?

A: A referee.

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Q: What's white and on the Cotton Bowl Field?

A: The lines.

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Q: Did you hear that Texas's football team doesn't have a website?

A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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An OU fan and a Texas fan were driving along when all of a sudden the OU fan slams on the brakes. There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the OU fan said "We Sooners never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep. Then he says to the Texas fan, "Your turn"... And the Texas fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.

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Q: What's the only thing that grows in Austin?

A: The Crime Rate!

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Those are your basic, run-of-the-mill jokes. You could easily insert another teams name in there depending on who you cheer for.

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