The 10 Best “Old Weezer” Songs of All Time…

9:00 AM EDT on September 5, 2013

Remember that Weezer contest thing? Well, they had to cancel so now we're giving away a limo ride and six free tickets to see OKC Improv in Shawnee. I'm just kidding. We wouldn't do that to you. Weezer's still playing at Lucky Star on September 13th and we're still giving away a limo ride and six tickets to the show. To register, all you have to do is go to the contest post and leave a comment naming your favorite Weezer song. We're going to draw for the winner tomorrow, so hurry up and do it.

In the spirit of playing along (and because I have nothing better to do), I've decided to spend way too much time and rank my 10 favorite "Old Weezer" songs. Why am I omitting the "New Weezer" tracks? Well, because I'm in my 30s and hate new forms of popular music.

You see, Weezer is one of those cross-generational bands that can be divided into "Old" and "New." I experienced this first-hand back in the Summer of 2007. I was visiting some relatives in Ft. Worth for a 4th of July family reunion. While looking through my little cousin's Lime Wire account for some music to play, I noticed he had downloaded "Beverly Hills." At the time, I was in my late 20s and he was a Freshman in high school. We had a conversation that went something like this:

"You like Weezer?"

"You like Weezer??"

"I like their old stuff. They've been around forever. I listened to them all the time in high school and college."

"They were around when you were in high school?

"Yeah."

"I didn't know they were old."

Before punching my cousin, I downloaded and played him some classics like Buddy Holly and El Scorcho. He didn't like them. He only liked "New Weezer." At that point, I realized a couple of things.

1. That I would never talk to my cousin about music ever again.

2. That I would never like the "New Weezer."

Is that immature and curmudgeonish, yes. Is it totally justifiable? Double Yes. Truth is, I spent several years trying to like the "New Weezer" and just couldn't do it. It just didn't stick with me like it did when I was younger.

Anyway, I guess I should tie up this rant or we really may end up giving away OKC Improv tickets. Here are my Top 10 "Old Weezer" songs:

10. Undone the Sweater Song

This was Weezer's first big hit. It also stands along with Nada Surf's "Popular" and LEN's "Steal My Sunshine" as the best 1990s songs to begin with people having a conversation.

9. Hash Pipe

This was the first single off the Green album, and that track that let MTV know to let us know that Weezer was back.

8. The Good Life

This is the happiest, most upbeat song on Pinkerton. On a happiness chart, that puts it on par with the saddest person at clown college.

7. Friends of P

Hey, that's not Weezer?!? The Rentals is a band fronted by ex-Weezer bassist Matt Sharp. He unceremoniously parted with group after Pinkerton. His departure marks the moment when the band started its transition towards New Weezer.

6. My Name is Jonas

I offer this suggestion from time to time, but if you want to have some fun at City Bites, tell the person taking your order that your name is Wakefield. Then when they say your name over the mic, stand up and shout "My name is Wakefield!" One person in the shop will laugh. Maybe two or three if you say it when the workers are going home.

5. Buddy Holly

I remember recording this song off of KJ-103 and onto a tape that I labeled "Alternative Rock." God, I'm starting to feel like Earnest Istook on the "Remember When In Oklahoma City" Facebook page.

4. Across the Sea

The lyrics are kind of creepy, and I think it inspired the Dashboard Confessional to be a thing, but this is probably the second-most underrated Weezer song of all time.

3. In The Garage

Even though I've never owned a 12-sided die, can't stand Kiss, and the garage was the scariest and dirtiest part of my parents house, I along with every other teenager in the 1990s, totally related to this song. It's basically the "In My Room" for Generation XY.