It's been a 10 days since we broke the story about Gary England's upcoming departure as our state's Severe Weather Lord, Savior and Commander-in-Chief. Life has been partly cloudy with a chance of drizzle ever since.
If you're like me, you're probably in the "bargaining" stage of grief. For the past couple of days, I've found myself constantly thinking "David Payne can't be bad," or "At least Gary is staying on as the Vice-President of Weather Development." That's kind of depressing in its own right, but at least I've finally stopped pacing around my backyard shouting out random hail stone sizes. That was awkward, and I'm pretty sure the reason my crazy neighbor shot me with a pellet gun. Hopefully the reoccurring dream where Gary and I ride a luckdragon through the Arbuckle Mountains ends soon, too.
To help us in the recovery process (and help remind those from out-of-state why Lord England is an Oklahoma legend), here's a YouTube clip of 1988's "TV 9's Weather Classroom with Gary England." In it, Gary explains how tornadoes work to a bunch of kids who are either really bored or in total awe of his holiness.
Did I write help us recover?! I think that video just knocked me back a week. I wouldn't be surprised if the Nothing makes a cameo in my dreams tonight. I feel like drowning in the Swamp of Sadness.
Here are few thoughts on this video:
• The state legislature should pass a law that requires anyone who moves to Oklahoma to watch this thing and then pass a written test. Maybe require it for someone to get an Oklahoma issued driver's license or something. Not only will it teach new people about tornadoes, but it will also familiarize them with Lord England.
• The segment was sponsored by Gilt Edge Farms. I haven't heard that name in forever.
• The best part of the video, other than the awesome 1980s graphics, occurs near the 3:00 minute mark when Gary explains to the kids to not be afraid of tornadoes. Can you imagine David Payne or Mike Morgan doing anything like that? In their weather school, they'd probably dress up like the clown from It and make the kids watch clips of tornado death and destruction Clockwork Orange style.
• On that topic, do any moles recognize any of the kids in the video? Since they were blessed by Lord England at such a young age, I wonder if they are all successful storm chasers?
In addition to the tornado clip, Gary also made an instructional video about lightning. Yes, lightning, the weather phenomena that kills about 50-60 people a year. If you're not watery eyed, I guess give it a watch, too.
Holy crap, one of the kids who asked a question was Bary Holleyman! He ended up becoming a Super Prep All American 5 Gold Star James Hale Wet dream football player. Seriously, we should organize a reunion of all these kids. That would be fun.
UPDATE: I guess Gary liked the videos. His daughter sent us the following pic of Lord England enjoying his old Weather Classroom:
