Ernest Istook wants you to remember his wedding… and subscribe to his email list…
11:00 AM EDT on July 29, 2013
One of the more annoying things on Facebook is the "Remember When in Oklahoma City..." group. It's basically a forum for Baby Boomers, Uncle Ricos and all those other people who still don't understand how the Internet works to wax nostalgic about the "good old days" in Oklahoma City. The group is tolerable for a few days, but gets old really quick. There's only so many "Do you remember shopping at TGY" posts a human can take. As Tony Soprano said...
One person who recently discovered the group is former US Congressman, Oklahoma gubernatorial candidate and Jack Abramoff buddy Ernest Istook. We know this because Ernest recently posted a couple of items to the "Remember When in Oklahoma City" wall. However, instead of asking people if they raised the flag at Casa Bonita, ever met Big Ed, or watched cartoons in the weird room at Crystal's Pizza, he awkwardly posted old wedding photos and asked people to join his email list.
Here's a screenshot of the posts:
That's just weird. The whole point of the "Remember When in Oklahoma City..." group is for people to pull a Chris Farley and post things like "Remember when Putnam City was a decent school district? That was cool." It's not a venue for politicians to post personal moments like old wedding photos. Seriously, who other than Ernest Istook, Ernest Istook's wife and Jack Abramoff remember Ernest Istook's wedding? No one.
Since politicians always have ulterior motives, you have to ask "Why is Ernest doing this?" It could be that he wants to build up interest in hisFREE newsletter. Yes, you read that correctly. Earnest Istook has a newsletter and it's free.
He let the group know:
Couple of thoughts:
• I was about to write something snarky like "I think we need to recover from Istook's 25 years in politics more than he does," but then it occurred to me that Ernest was slaughtered by Brad Henry in the 2006 gubernatorial election. In a race that Keith Gaddie would probably describe as "Game of Goobers," Istook only received 33% of the popular vote. To put that in perspective, that's the same percentage Obama received in Oklahoma during the 2012 presidential election. Basically, Ernest Istook was as popular as a black, Kenyan, communist, dictator who's Hell bent on destroying America as we know it. Anyone remember that?
• According to his blurb, Ernest uses "wry humor rather than anger to burst the bubbles of the pompous." Yes, Ernest Istook just referred to other people as being pompous. Talk about pot calling kettle black, that would be like me writing that I'm going to burst the bubbles of the obscure and handsome.
I decided to check out some of his "wry humor" from is website, which I assume will double as content for his newsletter. Here are some of the LOL moments:
It’s not right but it’s legal to be tacky, obnoxious and extremely uncivil in America. In France, though, their President has been protected from public ridicule–but not anymore.
American politicians get insulted all the time, but it’s been a crime in France to insult their President.
Since 1881, in France political criticism was okay, but anything designed to be deliberately rude and insulting, or heaping ridicule on their leader could get you a year in prison.
After 132 years, France has just repealed that law, bowing to the international European Court on Human Rights. They reversed the conviction of a man who held up a sign telling the French president, “Get Lost, Jerk.”
Here in America, our First Amendment protects anyone who heaps scorn on the President, or ridicules someone in Congress, or taunts a governor, mayor, state legislator, or anyone else. It goes beyond political criticism; outright scorn, derision, ridicule and mockery are common on many TV shows, radio, and elsewhere.
It’s not right but it’s legal to be tacky in America–although it’s still obnoxious.
Hysterical! That's about as funny as an out-of-touch bonehead posting his wedding photo to a "Remember when" wall.
The city of Detroit has filed bankruptcy. Here’s one reason why.
Summary: A bloated government workforce was one big factor causing the city of Detroit to file bankruptcy. But some cities have gone even farther. If you include all levels of government, nationwide one in every 15 people is now a public employee.
A huge government payroll is one big reason Detroit filed for bankruptcy. They have one city employee for every 61 residents in Detroit. Plus more retired workers than active ones.
Can't. Stop. Laughing.
Here's the best one:
Snowden Travels Like Gulliver Did, Joins Ranks of Famous Fugitives
He doesn’t wear the red-and-white-striped rugby shirt and a stocking cap like Waldo does, but Edward Snowden is traveling the globe with a bagful of America’s national security secrets, just like Santa Claus travels the world with his bagful of toys.
First it was Waldo. Next Carmen San Diego. Now where in the world is Edward Snowden?
Technically, Carmen San Diego was before Waldo, but who care's about details. Ernest is on a roll like a geography whizkid who just won free airline tickets to anywhere in the continental United States. Give us some more, Rockapella!
The guy who stole America’s spy secrets is trotting around the globe quicker than President Obama on Air Force One–which is headed to Africa on a $100-million trip.
Maybe Snowden will surprise Obama there? Or Snowden might leave Russia for Ecuador. Or Iceland. Or maybe back to Hong Kong.
He doesn’t wear the red-and-white-striped rugby shirt and a stocking cap like Waldo does, but Snowden carries a bagful of national security secrets all over the world just like Santa Claus carries a bagful of toys.
Yeah, he repeated himself. I guess that's kind of funny.
Snowden looks just like White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, except that Carney shaves. What if Snowden snuck into the White House Press Room, pretending to be Carney? How could we tell them apart? Snowden is trying to tell us everything. Carney is the one who never wants to tell us anything about what’s really going on.
You wry little dog! You compared Snowden to Jay Carney! That's as funny as a the time Waldo found himself stuck in a battle during the crusades. It made me laugh more than this picture Ernest has posted on the front page of his site:
In the spirit of dated early 1990s references, it's good to see that Benny from LA Law is doing well. Seriously, what a creeper. If you perform a Google image search for "Men who look like an Ernest" or "People not allowed with 1,000 yard of a church, school or library" there's a good chance you'll see that wry little pic staring back at you. I bet his internet alias is Carlos Giggles.
Anyway, I think I've lost track of where I was going with this post. My goal was to let everyone know that an Oklahoma politician is spamming a Facebook group in the name of self-promotion, but all I accomplished was reenforcing age-old fears and stereotypes about old men who wear letter jackets and ride merry-go-rounds. My bad.