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In case you forgot, the liquor laws in this state are still stupid…

3:14 PM EDT on May 16, 2013


If we were to compile a list of the 100 Dumbest Things About Oklahoma, our ridiculous liquor laws would probably make the Top 10. They're confusing, bureaucratic, drenched in regulation, contradict free market principles, and protect monopolies, yet for some reason, our small business, limited-government politicians turn a blind eye to them. Granted, that's because most of our lawmakers double as nutty moralist social conservatives, but that's for another conversation.

The absurdity of our liquor laws are really magnified when it comes to beer and wine sales. They just don't make sense. Gas stations and grocery stores are only allowed to sell low-point beer, but they can keep it cold. Liquor stores can sell high-point beer, but it can't be refrigerated. Only liquor stores can sell wine, but they are closed on Sundays and Holidays, so if you want to grab a last-second bottle of Pinot to accompany you through back to back episodes of Game of Thrones and Mad Men you're S.O.L.

The laws are also goofy when it comes to how you can produce and distribute beer and wine in this state. If you need proof, check out this story about a Tulsa brew house that was busted for selling beer that was too strong.

From KJRH:

The Oklahoma ABLE Commission cracked down on a south Tulsa brewery Tuesday afternoon.

Agents say Pi Pizzeria and Craft Beer House is only licensed to make and sell low-point beer, but some customers complained it's too strong.

Through the sampling process, we sent those samples to the lab and did determine they were making an alcoholic beverage, not low-point beer," said Erik Smoot, ABLE Commission agent.

The agents seized everything Pi used to make and brew its product.

They say the manager is being charged with making and selling strong beer without a license.

Does the ABLE commission really think we're that stupid? Like anyone in this world is going to openly complain about their beer being too strong. What else did this idiot gripe about? Too much cheese being on the pizza? His girlfriend's boobs being too big?? Seriously, release the complaints. I'd love to see them.

Anyway, can someone explain how this works of why it's illegal? Does that mean places like the Bricktown Brewery and Belle Isle sell low-point beer, too? That would make sense. I'm not a fan of either establishments beer, with my number one complaint being a never feel a buzz. If it's 3.2%, that would explain why. I don't think you can get a buzz from drinking water.

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