On Sunday night, The Academy of Country Music Awards (Editor's note: The Red State Grammys) aired and as usual, our very own Oklahoma country stars cleaned it up. Would you expect anything less? Oklahomans and country music are like peas and carrots, jazz and liquor, and hysterical gay men and #nowthatcherisdead.
Oklahoma's very own Blake Shelton co-hosted with Luke Bryan. You've probably heard of one of them. Although I prefer my openers to involve musical numbers about parts of the female anatomy, I'll give credit where credit is due. Blake has really, really got that whole naughty-bashful-handsome-charming-boy next door shtick down to an art! Sure, the routine might only work on the 40+ crowd, but well, that also makes up the majority of people who still buy CDs and watch The Voice. Move over Garth and Toby, our much less annoying boy Blake is a bonafide star! Check out the opening below:
(Editor's Note: I apologize.)
Kinda cheesy sure (Editor's note: That's being kind), but definitely a bit edgy considering the target audience for these kinds of events. I found it a little interesting that they didn't make any Taylor Swift jokes. She's an obvious target, but maybe the writers didn't want to piss her off since this was kind of her home base event. That, or maybe the threat of another "everyone is soooo mean to poor little ol' me!!!" T-Swift soundbite surfacing made them change their mind (Editor's note: Or choke on their tobacco.)
Or, maybe writers just hope Taylor Swift will disappear into oblivion so people can go back to focusing on the true belle of the country music ball, Checotah native Carrie Underwood. Check out the fresh and flowery item she wore on the red carpet:
I know I don't have to argue that Carrie Underwood is stunning--I mean, look at her--but what's been going on with her weird outfit choices at these shindigs as of late? The tulip pattern on her dress reminds me of wrapping paper or grandma's curtains. Is this some sort of power-move she's pulling on other country starlets? "I am Carrie Underwood, hear me roar, I can wear the most disgusting prom-reject of a dress and still look better than all of you bitches!"
Speaking of poorly dressed yet wildly successful starlets, check out what Miranda Lambert, Tishomingo resident and wife of Blake Shelton, wore for the occasion:
Miranda Lambert, effectively the Adele of the country world. She's a pretty and talented girl no doubt...but is it just me, or does it look like we're about half an inch away from some sort of awesome nipple wardrobe malfunction? It might be time to hire a new stylist...or a new tailor...or you know, abandon anything umm, overly form-fitting.
Thompson Square won Best Vocal Duo. They're from Miami, Oklahoma. Don't worry, I have no idea who they are either. (Editor's Note: Whatever. They're your favorite).
Oh, they're that husband and wife group who sings that "Kiss Me Or Not" song. Still unclear? Me too, it's okay.
Maybe you have heard of Rowdy Yates, Sunny Leigh, and Carly Rush. They make up KVOO's "Voo Crew" morning show based in Tulsa--and they won Medium Market Personalities of the Year (Editor's Note: Wait, they give away awards to country radio stations?). Okay, that's cool! I remember listening to Carly Rush in my mom's car on the way to elementary school. They didn't get to receive their awards on air--hell, I highly doubt they were even invited to the fancy award show in Vegas--but I still think proper congratulations are in order. I tried Googling them so I could post their picture and we could all acknowledge their success, but all that came up was a bunch of random group photos and diagrams of voo doo dolls. This leads me to believe that they're either extremely bashful, extremely popular, or are made from ragged cloth and twine. One of those.
(Editor's Note: Hey, that's the way I usually end my posts, too)