Here's a fun story from the crazy news factory that is Northeastern Oklahoma. Some girl from Tahlequah, Tori Wheeler, thought it would be hilarious to tell her boyfriend that she was pregnant as part of a twisted April Fools' Day prank. Apparently the prank didn't go as planned, because it ended with Wheeler biting her boyfriend, attempting to slash his throat, and forcing him to drink brown murky water from the Illinois River.
Just kidding about the last part. If she did that, she'd be charged with murder.
A Wagoner County woman is arrested after an April Fool's joke ends with her boyfriend in the hospital.
Deputies say Tori Wheeler, 18, told boyfriend Derek Bauer she was pregnant as a joke. Deputies say she told them he got very angry, so as part of the joke, she pulled out a knife to threaten him. But deputies say when Bauer threatened to call the police, she lost her temper and cut Bauer's throat.
Bauer was taken to the hospital for stitches and will recover. Wheeler was taken to the Wagoner County jail, where she faces charges of assault with a deadly weapon.
Wheeler was charged with assault, while her boyfriend needed seven stitches at a hospital.
Call me a traditionalist, but I think this just proves my theory that girls shouldn't be allowed to pull an April Fools' Day prank unless it involves them going topless.
"Wait a second?! You're going to sunbathe topless?"
"Just kidding! April Fools!"
"Haha, I didn't think you were a whore!"
Seriously, you should never joke around about pregnancy. That's some heavy stuff. I learned that the hard way when I played an April Fool's prank on one of my ex-girlfriends back in college. I told her that I dreamed she was pregnant, but that she shouldn't worry about it because I would pay for half of the abortion. Oddly enough, that prank also ended with knife wounds and bite marks.
Anyway, someone claiming to be the victim's brother posted a pic of the carnage – and a strongly worded C-word statement – to Reddit. Check it out:
"Hey Broseph, what happend to your neck!"
"Oh, some crazy girl told me she was pregnant and threatened to kill me as part of an April Fool's Day joke. She's in jail now."