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Dante’s Hot Girl For The Month: Ms. February

By Joel

9:00 AM EST on February 27, 2013

(Editor's Note: This gratuitous, yet charming, post was supposed to be published earlier in the month, but we have a very absent-minded editor here and it got skipped. Many apologies to Dante and Ms. February for the delay - Anonymous)

I started writing this article with perfect grammar for those who clearly don’t understand the sarcastic humor, but then I was like fuck that. I’m just gonna write exactly how I want to cause most of y’all don’t even have a college degree. I know that because in my Methods of Social Research class I learned in that only 20% of adults in Oklahoma have college degrees. So be thankful I’ma dumb this down for you. -

Speaking of college degrees from Oklahoma; my hot chick for the month is the OU twirler, Megan McGeary. Don’t like it? Think she’s already on the site too much? Leave a comment about it.

Here are some gratuitous pics of her:

megan twirler

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ou twirler cell phone pick

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ou twirler girl 6

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ou twirler girl

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Megan McGeary  OUtwirler

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ou twirler girl 2

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ou twirler girl 4

Why the OU Twirler you say? Umm…Cause she loves attention? Umm…Cause she’s an edible? Umm...Cause she can contort into a human swan while spinning a fiery stick? If that doesn’t impress you, don’t eat at Chick Fil-A.

But honestly, I saw her at one of the three OU basketball games I’ve attended since receiving my studentship and I was like… Who’s the sparkly ballerina? Then she whipped out Excalibur and did the most graceful prance routine I’ve seen since that one time at band camp. That’s when I knew if I ever caught her in normal person form, she was automatically getting the 5-Question-Test. I won’t explain what that is and I used dashes just to annoy you. But the unfortunate thing (for Megan) is that I’ve never seen her outside of a halftime performance so I never got to put that mac daddy pimp sauce on the lil’ chicken nugget.

You know what the makes her? Cinderella. And it’s a shame too, because we’re perfect for each other. I mean, we go together like peanut butter & jelly. Better yet, like chocolate & milkshake. How do I know this? My favorite online dating site; Twitter.

“Explain, Dante” – You

Well I just started following this little hellion about 17 days ago and from her Twitter tweets I can tell that she loves to complain just as much as me. That’s perfect; because a woman who complains a lot is a woman who knows what she wants.

So…I made a list of the 5 things we could complain about on our first date.

5. Instagram

I hope the sun never sets again. Daylight Saving Time.

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4. Homeless Shelters

If they’re sheltered, they aren’t homeless... They’re unemployed.

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3. Water

If water has no taste, why are there so many brands of it? Is Dasani even water?

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2. Gun Control

Why’s everyone so mad? It’s not like people don’t die from other things. Cancer doesn’t kill people, people kill people.

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1. People.

The worst kind of people are the ones that talk to you. It's like, I'm a super famous comedian and writer now. I'm sure she can relate.

Stay Black.

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