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Mailbag: TV sweeps, Missing Thunder Girls and Flea hates the Thunder

12:59 PM EDT on October 26, 2012

Happy You're-Probably-Celebrating-Halloween-This-Weekend weekend, Moles. If you haven't done so yet, check out Marisa's special "Halloween in the Big Town" for a list of things to do in the metro this weekend.

This week's mailbag is sponsored by our friends at Lucky Star Casino. Whoever sends us the best email will take home a pair of tickets to the George Lopez show on November 10th. This probably has something to do with me growing up in Capitol Hill, but I kind of like George Lopez's stand-up act. Repeat, stand-up act. It's actually funny.

Anyway, to the emails:

Shayne writes:

November sweeps start Thursday.  KOCO is having a sit down with Joel Osteen to expose his life as a megastar minister. KWTV is having a contest to watch the news.  KFOR is doing a shameless story about Bob Barry Jr's medical emergency that happened last weekend.  It was previewed Wednesday night as a teaser to make sure viewers tune in on Thursday.  Shameless.

Yeah, those are all pretty pathetic. But...

• It's not surprising that Channel 4 tried to capitalize on Bob Barry Jr.'s inability to ride a motorized scooter. Remember when he got his stomach stapled about four years ago? I think they did a special 10-part series on it. Also, when will Channel 9 take advantage of Dean Blevins' tendencies to faint, slip and itch in awkward places?

• I know Channel 9 had the contest, but their big sweeps story was an "exclusive one-on-one interview with Kevin Durant." Imagine that. Channel 9 exploiting the Thunder in favor of reporting real news.

Also, that was one hell of an "exclusive" interview with a guy who speaks to the media all the time. It was so exclusive that if you search "Kevin Durant Interview" on YouTube.com, you get 4,540 results, including this "exclusive" interview with Oklahoma Magazine, or this one with Jimmy Kimmel, or this one with Ronnie2K, or this one with Emmy winner Jake Hamilton, or this one with Allison Gappa or this one with a dude named Andrew, or...get my point? Just because you are interviewing someone doesn't make it exclusive.

• I'm not sure what Channel 25's big sweeps story was, but tonight they are reporting on the Heavener Runestone. According to the promo for it, they are going to tell us about the runestone, and if it was carved by Vikings (it's not), try to figure out what it means. Next week, they are going to do a story on Sasquatch, and if he's real, tell us what his favorite foods are. The week after that they are going to profile a Channel 25 viewer, and if the person is real, examine why in the world they watch Channel 25.

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Jeff writes:

What gives with the new "Chief" meteorologist Damon Lane still working the morning shift on KOCO? They didn't make Rick do it.

Are they trying to pull the wool over Damon's eyes by just making his title more important while still making him do all the crappy duties? Its kind of like when your buddies start up a business and everyone is a vice-president.

First of all, I think you inadvertently stumbled into a great idea. Instead of giving news people titles like Chief Meteorologist, Sports Director or Morning Anchor, they should give them bank titles. Which sounds better? Sports Director Bob Irzyk or Vice President of Sports Programming Bob Irzyk? Chief Meteorologist Mike Morgan or Executive Vice President of Meteorology Mike Morgan? General Assignment Report Naveen Dhaliwal or Assistant Vice President of Field Reporting Naveen Dhaliwal? Someone should make this happen.

Also, keeping Damon Lane in the mornings has to be a temporary thing. Unless you're Channel 25, you want to have your Chief Meteorologists work in the evenings. Then again, maybe they are protecting Damon from being annihilated by Lord England and Magic Mike. Who knows.

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Bradley writes:

Have you guys looked into why Riane is not in the thunder girl lineup?

In case you're not a pervert, Riane was the red-haired Thunder Girl that all the cameramen at the Peake had an unhealthy obsession with. I think she's probably locked in one of their basements right now.

Anyway, I asked a Mole, and apparently Riane either quit or didn't make it through the auditions. The bigger question is who the Thunder is going to choose as a replacement? The pickings ar kind of slim, but I'd go with this one.

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Missy asks:

Did you see what Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers tweeted about the Thunder not letting him see the locker room?

I did. Here's his tweet:

I'm not very cultured, so I googled "Noveau rich." Here's the definition:

People who have recently acquired wealth, typically those perceived as ostentatious or lacking in good taste.

Yep, the bassist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, a man who performs on stage with only socks covering his genitals and helped write songs about the depths and despairs of heroin, called out the Thunder for "lacking good taste." You know what, kudos to the Thunder for closing the locker room doors to the this 1990's sell out. Go play "Under the Bridge" for a bunch of 40-year-olds you filthy has-been.

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Daniel writes:

TLO - Just looked at 10/19/2012 mailbag.  It wasn't funny as usual & I could barely bring myself to even vote!!  I voted for Rick Mitchell's weather dong just becuase weather dong's are a good staple of entertainment.  Anyway, I wanted to get you an e-mail becuase like you stated you didn't get a lot of e-mails & it definitely showed.  Better luck next week.

Daniel,

I sincerely apologize that our free reader mailbag didn't meet your lofty expectations and standards. This next email is dedicated to you.

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Karen writes:

We live in Newalla in Sleepy Hollow are OGE is out all th time it is right now and it was this past weekend this has gone on for 26 yrs they are always going to fix it but they manage to patch it for a few hours to a week and we're in the dark again!!!

You know how Bill Simmons always ends his mailbag with these are our readers? Well, these are our readers.

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