Oklahoman sports columnist Berry "Boomer" Tramel is good at many things (like writing sports columns, coming up with lists and irritating the hell out of Jim Traber), but just like everyone else, he has some weaknesses.
For example, he's not the best sports talk host in the world. Sure, he does okay on the Total Dominance Hour, but when he's not flanked by loudmouths like Regular Jim Traber and Al Eschbach, he comes across as a bit flustered and confused. Plus, whenever he speaks I feel like I'm listening to a southern small town drunk who's losing his voice and going through puberty at the same time. It's very concerning.
Boomer's also not the most photogenic person in the world. Back in the day, the only thing more entertaining than his sports column was his accompanying mug shot. Before he went with the semi-normal Grandpa look you now see today, Boomer spent the 1990s and early 2000s sporting some weird feather mullet hairstyle that would make any Firebird owner proud. To make the pics better, he smiled like a drunk at an AA meeting. Here's an example:
Pretty scary, huh? I can't decide if he looks like a carnie from the Indoor Fun Fair, a shift leader at Hibdon's or someone who's not allowed within 1,000 feet of a school or church. Maybe it's all three. That being said, the pic has nothing on Boomer's college ID from the University of Oklahoma. We acquired a copy of it via the Ogle Mole Network, and let me tell you, it's an amazing thing of terrifying beauty and grace:
Well, I guess we finally know who abducted those two girls from the state fair in the early 80s. Seriously, he looks like a zombie on meth who's scared of scissors and combs. If the OSBI doesn't reopen every unsolved murder case from the 1980s and name Boomer as their number one suspect, then there's no hope in the world. Hell, just look at his middle name. It's Wayne! Isn't that the middle name of every serial killer?
Anyway, since Boomer is such a good writer and everything, maybe he can explain what's going on with this ID in a newspaper column or blog post. As long as he doesn't try to give it a forced nickname like Boomer or Kid Nichol, I'd totally read it.
