Yesterday, we challenged the Ogle Mole Network to provide us with the identity of the girl who mocked Heat executives Pat Riley and Alonzo Mourning during Game 1 of the NBA Finals.
Here's what we wrote:
All right, Ogle Mole Network. It’s time to go out and do your investigative research and let us know who this girl is! She looks fun and brave and we want to interview for the site. Also, who’s that Sloth guy with her? Is that her boyfriend or brother or just some guy who really wants a Baby Ruth?
Anyway, leave a comment if you have any ideas about her identity or whereabouts. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, just contact us instead. Thanks in advance. We know the Ogle Mole Network will not let us down.
As expected, the Ogle Mole Network came through in the clutch. We have discovered that the girl in question is Thunder fan Brittany Parish. The excited dude with scary tattoos who was reaching towards the scoreboard was her husband Patrick Parish.
As is typical in this town, I have learned that Brittany and I are linked by only one-degree of separation. Apparently Brittany works at Salon Envy with a girl named Becky Griffin. Becky (Warner) Griffin lived down the street from me when I was in high school, and is the younger sister of my PC West classmate Zac Warner. If you remember correctly, I beat up Zac Warner, Billy Stone and Josh Pettit during a fight back in high school.
To make things even weirder, Becky Griffin girl is married to my ex-barber Patrick Griffin. I stopped using Patrick so that I could avoid running into my nutty conservative ex-father in law. So basically, I, Patrick Riley, am interviewing a girl named Brittany who knows my ex-barber Patrick Griffin because she and her husband Patrick Parish heckled Pat Riley at a Thunder game.
I'm confused. Here's the Q&A:
1. Did you mock Pat Riley and Alonzo Mourning for most of the game? Did they notice you or say anything?
I did not mock them the whole game. In fact I made a point to not be a loud and obnoxious Thunder fan in respect of them being who they were (I honestly had no clue who they were until my husband came back from the bathroom and informed me). But then things took a turn.
My husband very kindly asked Alonzo for a picture and the guy wouldn't even turn and use real words to him. He just vigorously shook his head no and growled at him. I asked "Did he really say no?" and that's when the games began and I became the "obnoxious, heckling, gray shirt girl" that everyone has seen in the picture. That was only the last 5 minutes of the game so they need to count their blessings.
Pat Riley's wife actually kept looking back at me with a look that spoke "SHUT UP!!!" It made me chuckle but I kept yelling as loudly as I could!! GO THUNDER!!
2. Were you very aware of the camera?
I knew it was there and I pointed it out but I thought it was for the jumbo tron so I kept looking for it up there and it never showed up. Then my phone starts blowing up with texts and I immediately thought, "crap, what was I doing that was on tv" It didn't take long to figure out that I was making a fool of myself or better yet, Pat Riley.
3. How'd you score your seats?
My husband found out about the tickets around 2 o'clock on Tuesday. So very last minute. I didn't think we were going to get to go but the team obviously needed me there. haha
I do have to say Pat Riley and Alonzo must not have very good friends because they had crappy seats :)
4. Why were you not wearing your Thunder shirt!?
I DID have my blue seat shirt on the entire game except the last 5 mins. I am pregnant and I kept feeling like I might pass out from the excitement of the score board and the humidity in the arena. You can tell in those pictures that I kind of need to go home and take a shower. I'm glad now that I didn't have it on because it made for a better picture but I did have a lot of explaining to do to everyone that knew me as to why I was not "thundering up" in my blue shirt.
5. Has anyone recognized you? Did your phone blow up?
I did get recognized by some guys at my husbands softball game last night. I thought it was hilarious and I couldn't help but laugh. My phone hasn't quit blowing up with texts, Facebook messages and Twitter followers and comments. I have to say I never ever thought this would happen to me. I just laugh about it when somebody mentions it.
6. Prediction for the rest of the series?
THUNDER will definitely take it by the 6th game. duh. Now someone needs to hook me up with some free tickets for tonight's game so I can keep "heckling."
Wow, so not only is Brittany a good Thunder fan and somehow connected to every Patrick in Oklahoma City, but she's also pregnant! Congratulations to her. Also, if you want to be a good Samaritan and hook her up with seats, just let her know via Twitter.