You know you've entered a new era of your life when you still have a hangover on Tuesday from the debauchery you participated in on Saturday. While Patrick might have blown his life savings blogger's salary on a bar tab, I was happy to learn that my moderately risqué apparel paid dividends. Nothing comes without a price though, and that chick you saw dancing by herself in a corner may or may not have been me. Thanks for the beverages, kind readers. My dignity may no longer be fully intact, but at least my bank account didn't suffer in the process.
Anyway, it appears as though I'm not the only one in the greater Tulsa area that had a ridiculous weekend. The picture above isn't lost footage from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It's not a topless photo of the football coach from Glee either. This is actually the King of Germany--or, at least he thought he was, but then a vigilante tackled him to the ground and his psychedelic mushroom trip came to a sudden halt.
From News on 6:
TULSA, Oklahoma - A suspected car break-in in south Tulsa took a strange twist Sunday morning when the victim chased down a barefoot suspect who claimed to be the King of Germany.
Tulsa resident Dakota Tomlinson said he got a call that someone was breaking into his car outside his home just before 8 a.m. He and two friends jumped in the Chrysler 300 and searched for the suspect after getting a description of the man who had long curly hair and was wearing plaid shorts.
They thought they'd lost him when the suspect ran across the street near 91st and Sheridan in front of their car.
"He acted like he was going to go into the store, but he turned and I caught him about half way in the parking lot and tackled him," Tomlinson said.
Tomlinson held the suspect there until police arrived.
He says the suspect apologized while on the ground, and told him he was high on mushrooms.
The suspect claimed he was carrying "magic rocks" and had millions of dollars in Europe, as well as being the King of Germany.
He also told police he had been smoking mushrooms, said Sergeant Doug Brown with the Tulsa Police Department.
When it comes to caped crusaders, I'm much more on the side of Commissioner Gordon and Willem Dafoe than say, Kevin Spacey in A Time To Kill. Sure, law and order is important in an organized society and all, but sometimes a scoundrel requires a little ass kicking. I'd say a shirtless, barefoot guy breaking into your car in broad daylight qualifies as one of these situations. To Mr. Tomlinson, good for you for throwing down, I guess. You probably kept this guy from swimming around Millcreek Pond, interrupting the live-action role-playing at Hunter Park, or getting lost in one of the many gated communities in the area.
I mean, I've never dabbled in psychedelic drugs before, but it sounds like our perpetrator was having one hell of a trip. In that one episode of Dragnet I saw, the kids on 'shrooms and LSD sort of just rode around on a school bus and swayed back and forth to a Jimi Hendrix record. It's sounds pretty ballsy and adventurous for a guy (especially one who thought he was European royalty) to skip around South Tulsa with so little clothes on. South Tulsa is kind of like Mr. Roger's neighborhood--the mailman knows your name, people wave to each other as stop signs, and cardigans are a sartorial staple. A rogue renegade is bound to stand out, especially on Sunday mornings when every other South Tulsa resident is at Life Church.
Follow Chelsea on Twitter at @xCawoodstock
