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The KSBI OK Sports Wrap is penetratingly awful…

4:30 AM EDT on March 15, 2012

Earlier this week, KSBI OK Sports Wrap anchor Abigail Ogle — Yes, that Abigail Ogle — posted to her Facebook wall this edgy radio promotion:

Ignore real quick that KSBI was able to "cram in" a year's worth of sexual puns and innuendos in a 30 second commercial, what I want to know is if anyone else is freaked-out that an Ogle brother's daughter is posting sexually suggestive commercials on her Facebook wall!?! That's just weird. The only thing weirder is that Abigail Ogle is a sports anchor. Dear God, I'm getting old. Before you know it, KSBI is going to hire one of Gary England's grandkids to be a storm chaser.

Anyway, I went over to KSBI to see if their sports report really is "30 penetrating minutes of sports analysis" and "10 times the pleasure, three times a week." Here's the most recent episode:

No offense to KSBI, but if the lead story on your 30-minute sports report is Midwest City High School hiring a new football coach, I'm just going to fake an orgasm, grab my clothes and tip-toe out the door. I don't want to watch that for 30-seconds, much less three or thirty minutes.

Seriously, the only stimulating thing going on in that broadcast is the constant fear that Mark Van Paasschen's head is going to explode. What's going on there? He either has the biggest brain ever recorded in history or a turtle hatched in his skull, grew big and strong, and then died. His forehead is so big that mountain climbers put Van Paasschen Peak on their bucket list. His high school nickname was either Dr. Brain or Super Squama Frontalis.

All that being said, the KSBI OK Sports Wrap is kind of funny in an unintentional comedy type of way. In fact, KSBI specializes in local unintentional comedy programming. Need proof? Try watching it's "All About You" or "Oklahoma Live" for five minutes without laughing at the awkwardness. They even featured students from Oklahoma City Community College and Redland's Junior College in an Academic Bowl match-up. The round one questions were from the categories "Color of the Sky," "Remedial Math" and "Where I took my GED."

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