That picture above is the best thing you'll see all day. Assuming you love cheap insurance and artery clogging sandwiches. This is who is up today:
(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) The Diffee Kids
(8) Linda Cavanaugh vs. (9) Patrick's Dog Rowdy
(4) Wayne Coyne vs. (13) Chris Harrison
(5) Blake Shelton vs. (12) The Pioneer Woman
In case you care, here's the first round bracket. We'll have the bottom half of this regional posted at noon. Vote!
(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) The Diffee Kids
(1) Joleen Chaney
Conference: Super Hot News Vixens
Who She Is: KFOR Reporter
Biggest Strength: Her tenacious local news veracity. Kidding. Looks.
Biggest Weakness: No longer within hugging distance of Bobbie Miller.
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(16) The Diffee Kids
Conference: Obnoxious Car Dealer Spawn
Who They Are: Slightly creepy bad child actors.
Biggest Strengths: Low down payment on a quality new or used vehicle with 3.9% APR financing.
Biggest Weakness: For qualified buyers only.
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(8) Linda Cavanaugh vs. (9) Patrick's Dog Rowdy
(8) Linda Cavanaugh
Conference: Legendary KFOR Reporters
Who She Is: Most Popular Non-Weather/Non-Emily Sutton Person On KFOR
Biggest Strengths: I always trust what she says.
Biggest Weakness: Works with the 2 Movie Guys too much.
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(9) Patrick's Dog Rowdy
Conference: Creatures Patrick Joel Watches Defecate In His Yard
Who He Is: Patrick's Best Friend
Biggest Strength: Knows who every Ogle mole is.
Biggest Weakness: Cannot speak.
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(4) Wayne Coyne vs. (13) Chris Harrison
(4) Wayne Coyne
Conference: Psychedelic Band Leaders
Who He Is: Lead Singer For the Flaming Lips
Biggest Strengths: Awesome Music / Hair / Human Hamster Ball Aficionado
Biggest Weakness: We get it. You guys are crazy. Uh oh! More Glitter! So artistic!
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(13) Chris Harrison
Conference: Hosts Of Long Overdue For Cancellation Reality Shows
Who He Is: Hosts ABC's The Bachelor
Biggest Strengths: Gets first pick of bachelor castaways for "Chris Coaching Sessions".
Biggest Weakness: Played soccer at OCU. Soccer? Really? Yeesh.
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(5) Blake Shelton vs. (12) The Pioneer Woman
(5) Blake Shelton
Conference: Large Piles of Handsome Married To Miranda Lambert
Who He Is: Country Star / Judge on The Voice
Biggest Strengths: Looks / Handles Chair Spinning With Ease
Biggest Weakness: Vest Heavy Wardrobe / From Ada
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(12) The Pioneer Woman
Conference: Not Very Entertaining Bloggers
Who She Is: A Not Very Entertaining Blogger
Biggest Strengths: Making simple photography seem like complicated art.
Biggest Weakness: See above.
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