Every now and then, we like to do our readers a favor. This is one of those times. There's nothing worse than an absolutely terrible Halloween costume, so we're here to save you from yourself. Don't listen to your instincts, don't follow popular trends, but be sure to be sexy. That part's just for me, actually. There are many levels of terrible, but we don't expect you to achieve anything like our new homey in the pic above went for. Sure, he probably still got to go home with the stinkeye-giving hippie girl, but we're pretty sure she was drunk. And disappointed. So when you're smacking your head against your desk trying to think of ideas, just make it easy on yourself and go with one of The Lost Ogle's Halloween Costume Ideas. It's just that easy.
Wimgo
This costume is pretty easy. Just take a box, paint it lime green, punch some eye holes through it, and wear it over your head. When people ask what you are, explain to them that your not really sure. Also, be sure to spend a lot of money building and promoting the costume. It won't help anyone know what it is, but it will make the costume more realistic.
p.s.- Speaking of Wimgo, I'm disappointed that no one has congratulated us for convincing the green cube to give away four OU-Texas tickets via Twitter last Friday. Who knew that the fake RT could be such powerful thing?
More after the jump..
http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9/1681694480?isVid=1&publisherID=713285227
Sgt Jennifer Wardlow
The other day, we got an email from a reader asking our opinion about Sgt Jennifer Wardlow. She's the Oklahoma City Department spokeswomen who appears in all the videos talking about crime and stuff. After doing some investigation, we've determined she's actually not bad looking. As a bonus, she also looks like she's legitimately a female and heterosexual. I guess if you want to be her for Halloween, just dress up like a sexy cop or something.
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The Penis Pump Judge:
We delegated the blurb for this post to Chad, but he never finished it. That's probably a good thing.
[UPDATE] Chad here. Those things don't work. At ALL.
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The New Dave Morris:
Remember when Dave Morris was just and old school douche bag wearing sunglasses with price tags and taking pictures of himself in the mirror? Well, Dave is now a more modern douche bag. He's going with the really short haircut and the constant 5 days growth. He's also wearing the sports jacket with the striped thermal. Remember, it's still legal to punch people like that in the face, so if you dress up like Dave Morris at your Halloween Party, be prepared to be punched.
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The Age Progressed Dave Morris:
If you're going to be Dave Morris for Halloween, I would suggest this one.
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Scott "J'ordy" Hines:
This costume would be kind of difficult to recreate, but the more difficult part would be acting ghey enough to pull it off. You could be a French waiter hanging out with Andy Warhol and Sally Kern's heterosexual son and still probably not be able to wear that outfit the right way.
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Jason Doyle:
Arg! Jason Doyle's ye' old reporter for OETA. But shiverme timbers, you'd never know because aren't nobody watchin' ye old channel. Seriously, though, to be Jason Doyle, just grow out a beard and then steal some kids uniform from Long John Silvers. Or just be Chad. He's already got all that crap.
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Fogzie:
For this costume, all you have to do is go buy a Fonzie outfit, but instead of giving away candy to Trick or Treaters, give them little green lids. Once Halloween is over, promptly bill Oklahoma City for $750.
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Alex Cameron:
HBO shirt? Check. Stone washed jeans? Check. Hair blowing through the wind? May need to buy a wig.
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University of Oklahoma Wide Receiver:
Go to The Big Red shop and buy an OU football jersey. Then, empty out two big tubs of butter or margarine and wear them over your hands.
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Metro Transit Trolley:
Just wear red sweats or something, but show up 30 minutes late to wherever you are going.
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Blake Griffin/Taylor Griffin:
This is a good duo costume:
Blake Griffin:
Wear a blond wig, pink halter top and green dress. Prance around the party lifting up random people. When the party is over, laugh all the way to the bank.
Taylor Griffin:
Just follow around Blake. When the party is over, laugh all the way to the bank.
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Lake Hefner Enthusiast
Lake Hefner is pretty cool place, but the people who spend a lot of time there seem to be a bit off. To be Lake Hefner enthusiast, wear biker shorts, a white Under Armour shirt and listen to your iPod. For a prop, walk around the party with either a racing bike or rollerblades and then engage people with some really odd conversation. For added effect, bring a stunt kite.
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Maps III Supporter
Dye your hair gray, wear a navy blue suit and an Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce button. When you get to the Halloween Party, spend the entire time talking about how great the original MAPS was for Oklahoma City. When people ask you about Maps III, tell them how great the original MAPS was for Oklahoma City.
