Eight years ago this month, my wife and I, fresh out of college, naively chose to spend our lives in holy matrimony. Little did we know that heterosexual marriage was rapidly becoming a thing of the past.
It started when Governor Howard Dean of Vermont signed the nation's first "civil unions" bill that opened up the institution of getting hitched to anyone with the rights to enter into a contract. I was initially scared that Mrs. Matthews would move to Vermont and switch to the other team, but my fears were alleviated when I remembered the "Defensive of Marriage Act" that was sponsored by Oklahoma representative Steve Largent and signed by the pillar of traditional marriage, President Bill Clinton. Our marriage was safe.