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The essays that you didn’t get to see…

7:48 AM EDT on June 18, 2009

meganfox

As we mentioned yesterday, voting is currently open for the First Fidelity Bank essay contest. When we sent a call out for essays, we said there were two ways people could get them to us.  People, robots, or tiny forest gnomes could either:

A: Submit a comment, or

B: Send us an email

Because the comment thread is open, you could see all the attempts at seven word essay stardom in the original.  Unfortunately, though, the emailed ones were hidden from the public eye...until today.  In this post we are going to release some of the essays that were emailed to us along with the email address of the sender.  Check them out after the jump:

Don't know! Why don't you tell me?
BBJ_6969@yahoo.com

-

I'd use it to blow my nose.
AubreyChezy@gmail.com

-

Rig the vote so I will win.
skarkster@oklatravelnet.com

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Hire a proofreader to check my posts.
joey@thelostogle.com

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Buy my own nightly news editorial segment.
Kent007@hotmail.com

-

BOOMER!!! BOOMER!!! BOOMER!!! BOOMER!!! BOOMER!!! BOOMER!!! BOOMER!!!
bsimms@billysimmsbbq.com

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A very small steel ensconced oil derrick.
sjett@okhouse.gov

-

A whole lot of XMEN comic books.
b_rinehart@msn.com

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I'd learn how to program my VCR.
mmccarville@prodigy.net

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A night of sweet love with BikerFoxx.
irritatedtulsan@gmail.com

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I'd probably buy a new left testicle.
hookemhorns79@aol.com

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Well, like the first thing I would do is like go to Braum's and totally get an ice cream sundae and pour chocolate sauce and cherries on top of it. The I'd probably like go out with my friends and my fiancé and I'd then...
lrichardson@kokh.com

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Get out of my stupid KREF contract.
trowland@news9.com

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I would...
ashlynbrooke@gmail.com

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Time to start paying back the devil.
austin@hinderonline.com

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Fund my effort to Save Jaime Ceretta.
- Spenolicious@yahoo.com

-

A premium membership to Adult Friend Finder.
admin@deanblevins.com

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Schmm bradfrm tckled fawauhmloss ondapay TOUCHDOWN OKLAHOMA!
bbarry@ou.edu

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Sunglasses, sports jacket and an affliction tshirt.
knowyourmo@gmail.com

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Think of another way to promote myself.
rstone@saxumpr.com

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One more 2000 Bush / Cheney bumper sticker
clarkmatthewswearingsunglassesandatrenchcoat@thelostogle.com

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