Oklahoma Initiative Ideas: 10-1
9:26 AM EST on November 26, 2007
Well, here are our last ten ideas for the Oklahoma Ideas Initiative. Overall, some of our ideas have been good, some have been bad, some have made no sense. To see all of them, check out our 100 Ideas Category.
10. Three words: EMPEROR GARY ENGLAND.
This is probably the best idea on the list. If you doubt it, just check out Gary's online resume over at NewsOK.com. There you will learn that Gary:
"¢ Was named Best Television Personality by the Oklahoma Gazette in 2001
"¢ Was named One of the Outstanding Young Men of America, 1976 by something called Jaycees
"¢ Was featured on Spiegel TV News (German Television) in 1999
"¢ Is an expert witness in lawsuits involving weather
"¢ Appeared in Living Magazine in 1978
Geeze. If stuff like that doesn't convince you that Lord Gary should be emperor of Oklahoma or Oklahoma City or even Warr Acres, then you are a sad sad person. Or you are just Mike Morgan.
9. Legalize public nudity at Lake Hefner (with limits and guidelines to be set by TheLostOgle.com).
Even though we endorse Gary England for emperor, we are actually all about freedom of speech and the protection of our civil rights. That's why we think public nudity at Lake Hefner should be legalized. Of course, because we are nice and have a small conscience, we'll be the ones who set the limits and guidelines for this nudity, or better yet, determine which girls are allowed to participate.
8. Legalize the sale of wine, six-point beer and moonshine in all Oklahoma grocery stores.
Oklahoman's for Modern Laws are all about making it legal to buy six-point beer and wine in Oklahoma grocery stores. But for some reason, they really don't seem to care about the fledgling moonshine industry. This is just stupid. Get moonshine in our grocery stores and get it in there now! Save the moonshiners.
7. More Jaime Cerreta.
Jaime Cerreta is the evening anchorwomen for the FOX 25 News at Nine. After seeing the picture above, we think we need more Jaime. Maybe she can do some stuff with Lauren Richardson at Braums. Or maybe she can just talk about Lunges.
Anyway, if you want to see another picture of Jaime, check out the one from the KOKH website. It's not near as...bouncy. Or if you want to see where Jaime ranks in our "20 Hottest Women in the OKC News Media" powerpoll, be sure to stop by this Wednesday morning.
6. Get Bob Stoops to endorse The Lost Ogle.
Ok, Bob. We know you read the site. We know you are a fan. Please Please Please send us an email with the following quote:
"Certainly. I like TheLostOgle.com in a very great way. The execute and prepare in an outstanding great physical way."
5. Ban the phrase "I'm a man. I'm 40."
At the Bedlam Game on Saturday, I heard about 5,000 people yell "I'm a man. I'm 40." Listen, this was funny the first 2,000 times I heard it, but the last 3,000...not so much. Now I'm not saying you can't yell things like "That aint true!" or "This was brought to me by a mother...of children" or "Says he's fat!", but it's time to retire the "I'm a man. I'm 40."
p.s.- Say it one last time. Now.
4. Force channels 4, 5 and 9 to pool their resources together and create a "State Map" channel that shows nothing but an Oklahoma map that highlights (in the appropriate color) all counties under current weather watches or warnings.
This idea just makes sense. Who would have a problem with this plan?
3. Have Aubrey McLendon and Tom Ward give each Oklahoman $100 cash (tax free).
Aubrey and Tom are so rich they could probably buy Oklahoma. Since they are right wing jobs who are probably in favor of a theocracy, that would suck. However, it would be cool if they gave every Oklahoman one hundred bucks. That wouldn't suck.
2. Conveniently lose "Oklahoma Passage."
To celebrate to centennial, OETA broke out Oklahoma Passage, the movie they produced for our last centennial 18 years ago. Talk about terrible, this movie makes Saving Grace look like Pulp Fiction or Gandhi. To make it worse, it starred Megen Mullally. And we all know that Megen lacks any form of recognizable or respectable talent.
1. Extend the deadline to submit ideas for the Oklahoma 100 Ideas Initiative.
We thought it would be cool to actually take 10 of our top ideas and submit them for the real Oklahoma 100 Ideas Initiative. But we just learned that November 16 was the last day to submit an idea! Talk about a stupid idea, now we have nothing to do with our 100 ideas. Maybe we'll save them for the next centennial or whatever, I'm sure we'll figure out some way to get another one.