Welcome to this week's Friday Dumpster Fire!
I don't have any blind items and rumors for you this week, but I do want to remind you to take advantage of our new subscriber offer of $29.99. I think it end on Sunday, so you better hurry!
Until then, to the fire!
1. Penn Square Goes Full Mobster on Oak Development
Steve Lackmeyer had a wild story about how far Penn Square ownership allegedly went to intimidate restaurants from opening at The Oak. It reads more like a whiny airing of dirty laundry than a solid legal case, but my uneducated guess is nothing much will come of it – except some billable hours.
But…
Maybe The Oak can use this moment to lure actual local businesses. They can bring people in, too, and as someone who lives nearby, it could seriously use some local charm.
2. Lawmakers Unveil New Way to Bankrupt the State
A group of right-wing zealots have introduced a plan to cut most property taxes, removing $1.7 billion from the state tax rolls and essentially bankrupting county government. Then again, county government can be so bad, inefficient, and corrupt that maybe we would be better off without it. Who knows.
3. City Unveils Plans for New Soccer Stadium
It’s not bad! Dollar for dollar and pound for pound, I actually like it more than the new Thunder biodome arena.
4. Famous People Went to Ma Der
I’ll fully admit I had no clue who either of these people are, but hey — they ate at the best restaurant in OKC. If I’m ever facing a botched wrongful execution, that crunchy rice salad is going on my “last meal” appetizers list.
5. Mayor Holt Draws One Challenger in Bid for Third Term
Mayor Holt faces challenger Matthew Pallares. Realistically, Mayor Selfie could get caught blowing Rumble and still win, but hey — at least there’s some competition on the ballot.
6. Is a MAPS 4 Jails in the Works?
If you ask me, this is also a problem for the city, state, and surrounding metro suburbs, and they should work together on a solution.
HAHAHAHA. Yeah right.
7. Mom Flips Out After Teacher Calls Son a Turd
I know we’re all overprotective of our kids, but the mom seems to be making a two-flusher over a little squirt.
8. Another Excuse to Wipe Out Red Cedar? Ticks.
I have an idea! Let’s burn them all. What could go wrong with that?
9. Dog Has Giant Tongue
Isn’t there a cartoon where some character opens his mouth and turns his tongue into a set of stairs? Was it Ren and Stimpy? Looney Tunes? All of them? Either way, this dog is a real-life version of that — and he lives in Oklahoma, so at least something nice is happening here.
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That's it for this week's fire. Have a nice weekend.
