Here’s some cool news to report!
An Oklahoma high school coach was arrested last week, and refreshingly enough, it wasn’t for something involving drunk driving, sexual misconduct, or doing something wrong with a minor. Nope – this time it was simply for soliciting a prostitute!
According to KRMG, Chance Juby – head coach and athletic director for the Nowata Ironmen, or as I’m calling them, The Fighting Schnellenbergers – was one of seven dudes caught in a prostitution sting in the inland-port wonderland of Catoosa.
Here’s the mugshot lineup.
In case you didn’t know, Coach Juby is the one rocking the cushy cops-and-robbers prison stripes, who looks like he’s about to steal pies off a windowsill in a 1920s cartoon.
Seriously… why did they give him the fluffy little romper from the silent-film era while everyone else got the standard Orange Is the New Black county-issue sausage casing? He looks like an off brand Hamburgler!
Who knows. Maybe he kicked all the other prisoners’ asses and won it. Or perhaps it’s an honor reserved for the apex predator of the sting? Either way, let’s take a closer look at the mugshot:
Holy shit. He looks more guilty than my dog after he's caught getting in the trash! I guess watching your professional and personal life disintegrate before your eyes, and then blow away in a wind of shame and humiliation, can make one melancholy and sad.
If so, don’t worry, Coach. Here’s a little pep talk.
Things may seem dire now. You have people laughing about you and making fun of you, and you’ll probably lose your job, but don’t worry. As we’ve seen in Oklahoma over the years, football coaches can get away with just about anything as long as they can win big games. Seriously, bring home a state title, and parents, teachers, and administrators will let you get all the prostitutes you want. Just don’t be stupid and get caught.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
