The NBA regular season hasn’t even started yet, and the Thunder's dreams of a championship repeat are already getting hit below the belt.
Okay, that’s a tad immature and overdramatic, but yesterday the team announced their 15th-best player – redshirt rookie Nikola Topić – will miss four to six weeks after undergoing a testicular procedure.
If that sounds weird to read, just wait until you see a social media post about it.
Before I write anything else, I’d like to commend the fine folks at Basketball Forever for the photo selection, because it perfectly reflects the facial reaction every man made when they heard he was missing time due to a freakin’ testicular procedure!
Seriously, when did that become a sports injury thing?
It sounds like something you’d get at an Edmond massage parlor, not Oklahoma Sports Science and Orthopedics!
It makes me wonder – is this the Mandela Effect in action? Like, I’ve been watching sports and playing football video games most of my life, so I’ve heard of every odd contusion, pointer, and flexor out there. Hell, I’ve even watched a guy get kicked in the nuts by Draymond Green, and even he didn’t need a testicular procedure.
I guess the follow-up question is – did Topic hurt it in a game? Is it non-sports-related? Did he have too much fun at Red Dog? We need answers!
Then again – just like if Louis ever dared call back Pixie – maybe we shouldn’t ask questions.
The Thunder and Sam Presti get pretty creative with both “injury management” and wordsmithing, so maybe they just want to stash Nikola for the start of the season – while the old guys get readjusted – and figured saying he had a “testicular injury” might be a good way to get nosy, resourceful people to hush up and move along. Like, do you really think the NBA wants to investigate whether Nikola’s testicular procedure is legit?
Unfortunately for Presti and the Thunder, they forgot about the existence of people like me – and the rest of the internet – who can’t help but go balls to the wall with immature middle-school pun jokes.
Some had no sympathy and saw no humor in the topic of the Topić family jewels.
Anyway, I hope Nikola’s okay, the procedure went well, and he’s not only able to develop into a basketball star but also have many, many children.
Well – unless that “testicular procedure” was a vasectomy. If so, the start of the NBA season is odd timing. I think most men schedule that sort of thing around March Madness.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
