Conservative Oklahoma special interest groups are hard at work forging a new local boogeyman for rural Derplahomans to fear!
Last week, a mysterious group that I think is associated or affiliated with the right-wing zealots at the Oklahoma Farm Bureau, Oklahoma Game Fowl Association, and/or the Oklahoma Inhumane Society for the Unethical Treatment of Animals launched an ad campaign warning local yahoos, mouth breathers, and other right-wing political partisans about a “wealthy liberal activist trying to turn Oklahoma into Wokelahoma.”
That guy’s name is Christian Keesee. He’s a philanthropist from the ancient Oklahoma oil overlord family House Kirkpatrick and leads their namesake foundation.
By all accounts, Lord Keesee – which is how most people who ask him for money address him – seems to fit all the stereotypes right-wing types look for when crafting a woke boogeyman to scare poor, white rural folks who go to a small-town Baptist church and hate everything affiliated with the government.
As his Instagram confirms, the New York City resident is very gay, very very rich, and very very very involved in supporting the arts.
But the thing that’s really unsettling to the conservative MAGA types about Christian – or, as I should probably call him, Lord Keesee – is that he really likes animals!
In fact, he likes animals so much that he gives a lot of money to groups that are against the brutal treatment and confinement of livestock that will someday be inside your club sandwich or hamburger, and he even uses his foundation to lobby for the protection of these animals.
What a woke nutcase, huh?!
I guess these woke actions that show decent human values like empathy toward our fellow animals made right-wing conservatives hotter than a branding iron. Apparently in favor of abusing and torturing animals before sending them off to the slaughterhouse, they launched a billboard to warn everyone about Woke Keesee’s – as people who don’t want his money call him – anti-Oklahoma antics.
To accompany the billboard, they also whipped up a video voiced by what I think is a sad AI that can’t believe it’s being forced to do this.
The video made sure to hit all the right-wing rallying cry bullet points that bots and flack channels amplify on social media. It accused Lord Keesee of “pushing left-wing causes” and a “radical liberal agenda” by donating to liberals who “attack farmers,” “support abortion,” and "oppose illegal immigration."
They even connect him to one of the rarest and most non-existent issues facing our nation – “men competing in women's sports.”
Listen – I know I’m not for stuffing a pig into a confinement crate so its baby can become bacon, but this Christian Keesee guy looks pretty cool! And “No!” – I’m not just saying that to get free VIP tickets to the next Art Now.
As you can see, the video included some pretty spectacular claims. But, in all fairness, they did attach receipts on the website.
Check out these hideous woke causes Lord Keesee donated to:
Yep, that’s right. This conniving radical elitist liberal scum gave his money to evil anti-farmer organizations like, uhm, the Humane Society, Mercy for Animals, and the Center for a Humane Economy!
I guess that means he’s not only woke, but – uhm – a good person who cares about the health and well-being of animals???
As I’ve mentioned already, the campaign is obviously being backed by those involved and aligned with the right-wing Oklahoma agriculture industry.
They’re libertarian-esque, pro-corporation people who – as their fights to allow confinement crates, legalize cockfighting, and keep puppy mills open show – don’t really give a fuck about animals.
I find the campaign ironic for a couple of reasons:
- Since animals and livestock are also important to farmers, you’d think Keesee’s support of animal rights groups would get their endorsement.
- Over the past year or so, I’ve heard grumblings throughout the Ogle Mole Network that some of the Kirkpatrick Foundation's more artistic endeavors have strategically and intentionally gone in a less “woke” direction.
I’m too smart to talk about No. 2, but regarding No. 1, we have to remember that most Oklahoma ag groups like the Farm Bureau, Oklahoma Pork Council, and others don’t really care about the traditional – and quickly becoming extinct – farmers who stand around their farm singing "E-I-E-I-O."
These groups are basically in the pockets of big corporations that operate all the hog and chicken farms that dot the state. The multinational factory farms that – in the name of making cheap meat – confine and torture animals, pollute the environment, and foster awful employment practices that depend heavily on immigrants and forced prison labor, thus helping contribute to the financial and cultural decay of rural America.
Since ag groups can’t justify keeping these freedoms without looking like unethical, borderline evil pieces of shit, they have to resort to personal attacks, create a villain, and stage a fictitious stereotypical drama about the simple American farmer going up against the rich, East Coast woke boogeyman.
You know, basically what they always do.
Anyway, it will be interesting to see who the ag lobby goes after next as they continue to place profits over ethical animal treatment – and whether the next Art Now will go full vegan.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
