If you need more proof that a newspaper apocalypse is upon us, we’ve found it!
Earlier this week, in what can only be construed as a malicious and defamatory attack on this very website’s brand, reputation, and credibility, The Oklahoman issued an editorial that cited the “unorthodox” Lost Ogle as a shining example of journalistic integrity and objectivity in Oklahoma.
Yep, that’s right.
Don’t spit out the coffee from your banned Jenni Carlson T-shirt coffee mug — up is down, left is right, and The Oklahoman is now giving TLO props on its editorial page!
Specifically, the praise was buried in an editorial that criticized Marcuswayne Mullin’s recent call for pistol duels, public floggings, and trial by combat to be formally reinstated as proper means to settle journalistic disputes.
Check this out:
It’s not only disheartening but shameful that Mullin would call for the killing of journalists, joking or not, in a state that is home to the deadliest act of political violence and domestic terrorism in the nation's history.
Oklahoma has scores of journalists, and many more student journalists coming through the pipeline. They work in an environment that has been increasingly made difficult by Republican lawmakers. Yet, they start early and stay late to get information to Oklahomans and hold public officials accountable to their constituents.
We know of no media organization in the state that makes up news to publish. Even the unorthodox satirical Lost Ogle is often spot on in their presentation. They will continue to report the news regardless of whether it is seen as favorable to one political party or another.
Listen, I know the “new and improved!” Woklahoman is a shell of the Gaylord-owned version that dominated Oklahoma culture in the 20th century — you know, the old-school one that, through its use of biased and vindictive reporting, passive-aggressive score-settling, and strategically placed Fox News-style editorials, imposed its political might on the Oklahoma politosphere and helped guide, lead, and shepherd the state into becoming the right-wing dystopian hellhole it is today — but would it be possible for the paper to issue a retraction here?
Like, I sincerely appreciate their attempt to use ass-kissing flattery to win our respect and curry our favor, but we've foughr long and hard to not be taken that seriously. Plus, this praise can do irreparable harm to our reputation in conservative media circles who hate local media, while also ruining whatever remaining cool points we have left in the alt-media crowd.
In addition to that, it’s just weird!
I know the paper has undergone a sex change of sorts over the last 15 years and now has a different identity — which I think is why Ryan Walters wants to ban the paper from all public school libraries — but I don’t think any of us want to live in a world where TLO and The Oklahoman like each other.
Seriously, what’s next?
Kelly Ogle asking me to speak to his OSU journalism class? KFOR “In Your Corner” running a report on our delinquent subscribers who forgot to update their expired credit cards?? Regular Jim Traber issuing a call over the air for us to investigate why Mike Koehler screwed over Berry Tramel via Sellout Crowd???
Wait. That last one already happened.
Sure, it’s flattering that the people, businesses, and institutions we’ve skewered, covered, and criticized over the years now shockingly look to us as one of the last remaining outposts for “often spot on” news and information — but I just don’t like it.
It makes me miss the days when the only people who had the courage to reference us in their work were scary white rappers.
See that? That was great for our reputation! If Barbie Doll, Knuckles, or any other scary white rapper we covered in the past wants to make a new video for old times’ sake, feel free!
Anyway…
Although I appreciate the pleasantries from our enemy-turned-apparent-ally, I call for the paper to retract their statements, and remove the analogous reference to us. I ask that they replace it with a less cool and less “often spot on” media example – you know, something like Yawn Doc, The Oklahoma Voice-Watch-Frontier, or even The Oklahoman – otherwise, I may need to sue them for $25-million.
Then again, we could also avoid the courts and settle this the old-fashioned way — a shootout on the state capitol steps!
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
