Pocket the enriched nickel, toss the lithium batteries, and drop the Canoo paddle—or life raft—into the water. Oklahoma has discovered a new pioneering industry to guide us to a fruitful Valhalla: Danish Green Meth!
Earlier this week, our esteemed Governor Kevin Stitt buried the proverbial hatchet with woke green energy producers, socialist Europeans, and Chinese drug cartels to announce a groundbreaking deal with Denmark. The goal? Make Oklahoma one of the world’s premier producers of environmentally friendly meth.
Don’t believe me? Just check out this headline from The Oklahoman:
Ever since former Governor Frank Keating famously called meth a “White Trash Drug” in 1999, the Oklahoma government has frowned on its production and use.
Despite this, our enterprising gentry has a proud legacy as some of the world’s most innovative meth producers and consumers. During the meth heyday, they showcased their capitalistic spirit by setting up labs wherever they could—even in Walmart detergent aisles!
We criticize Governor Stitt often, but let’s give credit where it’s due.
Considering Oklahoma’s storied history with the drug and its geographic status as a crossroads for America’s drug trade, it makes sense to work with design-savvy Europeans—like Madrigal Electromotive GmbH—to tap into its crystal blue addictive potential.
“Patrick. Are you sure this is the same type of meth?”
Well, I’ve repeat-watched Breaking Bad enough times to be an expert on the subject of meth, but I guess it would be nice to get more official details, as opposed to just scanning a headline and dreaming of all the jobs and riches this green meth hub could create for the Oklahoma people.
Via The Oklahoman:
A memorandum of understanding between the state of Oklahoma and the European nation of Denmark signed recently could eventually lead to the development of a green methanol power production facility in the state.
Gov. Kevin Stitt and Jesper Møller Sørensen, Denmark's ambassador to the United States, signed the document, which lists three “collaborative objectives”: to develop and operate renewable energy projects, to establish a so-called “power-to-X” facility in Oklahoma, and to promote economic growth and sustainability. The memorandum also includes areas of technology and defense, although neither side provided details of those components of the agreement.
The preamble to the memorandum says it envisions a “dynamic partnership” between Oklahoma and EE North America, a fully owned subsidiary of the Danish company European Energy A/S, which provides green energy services. The company says on its LinkedIn page, “We develop, construct and operate wind and solar farms all around the world.”
Oh. So, it’s more about green energy than actual meth production. Disappointing. But hey, maybe it’ll still lead to badass train heists and a chain of Mexican fried chicken joints popping up around the metro. I’m the one who knocks!
With meth off the burner, I guess the focus of this story shifts to Stitt’s hypocrisy. A red-blooded, anti-environmentalism American, he routinely sticks his nose up at ESG investing and renewable energy—unless, I guess, there’s a check from Denmark involved.
Naturally, this sellout move ruffled some Derplahoman feathers.
Although they don’t seem to care about hypocrisy when it applies to them, they lambasted the Governor for sticking his nose up at the Oklahoma oil and gas industry.
Via The Oklahoman:
Announcement of the agreement brought immediate pushback on social media from some of Stitt’s fellow conservatives and Republicans, both inside and outside Oklahoma. State Attorney General Gentner Drummond said, “I am severely disappointed to see Gov. Stitt joining radical leftists in perpetuating the green energy scam. Oklahomans deserve better.”
State Sen. Dusty Deevers, R-Elgin—a member of the state’s conservative Freedom Caucus in the Legislature—posted on social media platform X: “Oklahoma is the reddest state in the union. We should not be doing business with any company participating in ESG (Environmental, Social and Governance), which is a project to force companies to champion far-left social values.”
Meanwhile, Daniel Horowitz, a senior editor and podcast host at TheBlaze.com, said in a post on X, “Why is @GovStitt signing deals with foreign countries to buy up land in Oklahoma for the purpose of destroying its beauty with wind and solar crap while pursuing 'decarbonization.' Who needs Democrats?”
Even Stitt’s pet project, Ryan Walters, chimed in on the news—because, you know, this type of economic development news is right up a Christian nationalist school superintendent’s alley.
Ryan took the Governor’s penis out of his hand long enough to write a press release criticizing the move, but was too scared to mention the Governor by name:
That’s weak.
Imagine Walters’ fake rage if a Democrat signed this deal. He’d be vlogging in his Traverse faster than a methhead chasing a fix. Instead, he issues a milquetoast release that bends the knee to Big Oil. Why does the pic below seem relevant?
Anyway, I guess we’ll continue to monitor this story. I have a feeling that Oklahoma will be producing Danish green energy the same day an Ikea opens up in Bricktown next to America’s largest skyscraper, but I guess anything can happen.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
