Earlier this week, KOCO Channel 5 reported that The Village – the metro’s venerable, blue-street-sign-lined province to the north – is dealing with a rat infestation.
Normally, rats appearing in The Village isn’t a big news story. The two usually go hand in hand, like golden doodles in Edmond or scabies in Valley Brook. But this particular rat infestation is apparently a bigger problem than the usual one plaguing the city.
Via KOCO:
Homeowners in The Village have seen dozens of rats running through their yards, with the rodent invasion taking social media by storm.
Some residents said they have caught more than a dozen rats in their home and yard since the beginning of November. While the rodents are making themselves at home inside houses, attics, and backyards, others are scurrying in the streets.
Now, residents are wondering why the rodents have taken over.
Great question – why have the rodents taken over?
Well, let this be a lesson to all curious rat watchers: ask a scary question, get a scarier answer.
Here’s what the city manager had to say:
"When we get excessive rains and flooding, the drainage channels get overloaded. Most rats and other varmints live in drainage channels and the sewage. When they get flooded, they’re forced out and look for higher ground," said Dave Slezickey, city manager of The Village.
Yep, these aren’t your run-of-the-mill Casaday Square rats – these are hard-core sewer stinkers with a bad attitude! In fact, these things are so stinky that even the posh and plump cats of Nichols Hills want nothing to do with them.
Here’s more:
The city said this isn’t a new problem. In 2020, KOCO reported a rat infestation that many linked to ongoing construction.
"We really haven’t focused on it, and that was probably the easy answer, not the right thing to do," Slezickey said.
The city said they are bringing in everyone to find a solution.
“Everyone?” Who’s that? A crew of cats on Prozac and a sewer consultant from Tulsa?
The city should consider hiring me as a consultant because I have the perfect plan. Hire the services of a rat exterminator... preferably one who’s six feet long and has a history of going undercover for weeks at a time to snuff out vermin.
You may remember him: El Snako.
If El Snako can handle southside trailer park rats on his own, just imagine what he’ll do with these smelly sewer suckers! They won’t know what hit them!
Seriously, it's a great idea! What could go wrong... outside of El Snako escaping into The Village sewer system, growing 100 feet long while subsisting on a diet of rats, and then reemerging in a couple of years to destroy the city?
If that risk seems too great, Village leaders could also turn to El Snako’s nemesis – Old Red Beard:
Anyway, regardless of how The Village handles this outbreak, we wish them the best of luck getting their out-of-control sewer rat infestation under control.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
