Desperate BBQ calls for desperate measures.
Apparently not content with the indirect heat he’s received on the cool side of the smoker while Ryan Walters continues to steal all local news headlines and media attention, Brent Swadley – the flame-broiled, slow-smoked, dried-out henchman at the center of the Swadley’s Foggy Bottom Swindle – wrote an open letter to the general public about his legal troubles.
You know, those legal troubles that are clearly laid out in the lengthy criminal indictment that documents his shady dealings, swindles, and other “consultant fee” shenanigans that, according to investigations in various sectors of the Oklahoma government, cost taxpayers millions and millions of dollars.
I think the point of Swadley’s letter was to drum up support from his Christian Nationalist customer base who are all broke after spending a couple of their paychecks at the Oklahoma State Fair, but if you ask me, all it really accomplished was to reinforce his guilt.
The letter contains all the standard tropes and hallmarks you usually see when a guilty person tries to dodge responsibility for their actions.
For example, instead of directly addressing or refuting any of the state’s claims against him, Swadley instead tried to play the role of victim and blame opportunistic election-year politicians for orchestrating a witch hunt against an honest, hardworking barbecue man.
In addition to that, and, perhaps most telling, he spent a lot of the letter bragging about – and hiding behind his – Christian faith. He even went so far as to unveil his new Swadley’s super Christian “Fish-Cross” logo!
Although I think he should have tried to fit in an image of a dove or crown of thorns, I kind of dig Swadley’s logo. It will make a great artwork for his first prison tattoo!
In other news, Swadley may want to watch what he prays for here!
I’ve read the government’s indictment, seen the evidence, and talked with his alleged co-conspirators. If Swadley wants to avoid prison, he should probably be praying for God to burn the truth in his smoker’s firebox!
After letting everyone know he’s a Christian, which Swadley seems to believe makes him an honest, moral, and trustworthy person, he dropped another guilty criminal trope – blame the government for orchestrating a witch hunt.
You know, the classic play when your brisket’s about to get burned.
Yes, that’s right.
Even though this scandal was first unearthed in 2022, it’s all a politically motivated narrative whipped up by conservative politicians who are out to get an evangelical barbecue mogul. Claims that he purposely misled the government could not be further from the truth!
Well, that is if you ignore some of his text communications:
Despite the overwhelming evidence against him, Swadley still encouraged people to hop on OSCN and read the court case against him to make up their own minds.
I know most Oklahomans and Swadley’s regulars only read at a 5th-grade level, but that would be like the State Fair Disney Wig Thief inviting you to watch footage of him stuffing wigs into a backpack, all while insisting it was a magical misunderstanding.
Uh-huh. Can you imagine how hard it must be to not scream your side of the story from the rooftops?
I bet that’s frustrating, but it’s probably worth mentioning that, according to the Ogle Mole Network, Swadley backed out of a scheduled TV news interview just before releasing his letter.
In fact, I’m pretty sure every media outlet in town would gladly offer him a platform to spill the baked beans and share his side of the story.
Considering Swadley is an honest, Christian businessman with no guilt in these allegations and is eager to clear his name, why doesn't he take them up on his offer?
While you ponder that question, you can read Swadley’s full letter here.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
