We have some excellent news for fans of brief one-sentence paragraphs, monotonous sports takes, and dying journalism mediums!
Jenni Carlson is returning to The Oklahoman!
Yes, that’s right.
After fleeing the paper for the false riches and audience reach of Sellout Crowd, and then shooting her Substack shot, we’ve learned via The Ogle Mole Network that Jenni Carlson has tucked her tail between her legs and returned to the place that birthed her career.
Generally, this is the part of the article where I’d share a news release or screenshot of the internal email announcing the “next stop on her journey,” but since I don’t have that, let’s dust off our old "Young Jenni Carlson" T-shirt coffee mug that resulted in The Oklahoman sending us a cease and desist email many moons ago:
Question – Now that The Oklahoman is owned by a corporate behemoth, do you think they’d still get mad if we put that thing on CafePress?
If anything, The Oklahoman should probably steal our idea and make their own version of the ceramic drinking vessel! They could give them out to the couple dozen Olds who re-up their Oklahoman subscription to read Jenni’s feature stories on "Athlete A who overcame Life Obstacle B to accomplish Sports Moment C," along with her day-old Captain Obvious sports takes on college softball.
Outside of hearing that Jenni’s return to The Oklahoman is as imminent as an upcoming Jenni Carlson column suggesting OU’s offense needs to improve if they want to reach the College Football Playoff, I don’t know many other details about the move.
For example, will Jenni still have a Substack and do YouTube videos? Will she still be able to write features about old slabs of concrete? Will the paper still allow her to drink on the job while mentoring young journalists?
I should probably point out that – in addition to the people I mentioned in the lede – Jenni’s return is also great news for local trial attorneys who want to secure $20-million defamation verdicts for their clients!
Anyway, we wish Jenni the best of luck in returning to the grind of her old gig.
I never thought I’d write this, but I kind of missed being “Carlsoned” – the sniglet/word we created for when you see a sports headline on The Oklahoman's website, click on it, realize it’s a Jenni Carlson piece, and then promptly close the tab or hit the back button.
It’ll be fun to dodge her work again, one painful sentence at a time.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
