Things are getting weird for Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt.
In a recent interview with Channel 25, the Governor revealed to the state the embarrassing news that he’s growing a strange third eyebrow on the left side of his forehead.
Check out this pic:
That’s weird, but also interesting.
It makes me wonder if Stitt – inspired by the teachings of Dr. Timothy Leary – is growing the eyebrow as part of an effort to expand his consciousness, confront his inner self, and achieve a higher level of awareness in harmony with the universe.
If Tool releases a song called “Third Eye Brow,” I'll assume that's the case!
Then again, the hairy appendage growing effortlessly across his temple could also be due to stress.
Stitt sat down for the interview with Channel 25 in an effort to pitch Heather Turner – the pretty lady seated next to him – as his chipper nominee for Executive Director of the Department of Commerce.
She hails from Stitt’s stomping grounds of Jenks and is a member of the non-binary Oklahoma Good Ole Boys Network.
The Oklahoma Senate – as part of their ongoing political battle with the Governor – won’t confirm her nomination, which has to be making Stitt mad. What’s the fun in being Governor if you can’t put your loyal friends and colleagues in well-paying positions of political power?!
Here’s what Senate President Pro Tem and former Oklahoma Governor Greg Treat told Fox 25:
"There are some really big concerns about the nominee," Senate President Pro Tem Greg Treat said.
I am 100% in favor of the petty feud between the Governor and Senate because I think it’s hilarious, but that’s a pretty weak excuse.
Let’s be honest, we really don’t need a rocket scientist in charge of the Commerce Department. I think anyone could do a good job continuously losing business deals to Kansas, so why not Heather?
By all appearances, she has all the attributes the Oklahoma GOP looks for in high-level government appointees – she’s white, conservative, and Christian!
The only thing she has going against her is that she’s a woman, which means she can’t participate in state budget summits, but we have plenty of affluent conservative white men to hold down that duty!
I guess the only knock against Heather is that she has a deformed elbow...
Seriously, what in the world is going on with that?
Did the photographer punch her in the funny bone, or simply remove an elbow ligament for Tommy John surgery?
Perhaps it’s neither and Heather has an unbendable prosthetic limb.
If that’s the case, she could be Stitt’s version of J. Walter Weatherman – someone he keeps around to scare his kids and teach them a lesson.
“And that’s why you don’t bring your guns and booze to the Guthrie Haunted House!”
I checked Heather’s Instagram account, and her elbow does appear to be functioning in other photos, so my theories are all probably wrong...
For example, she’s able to shoot a gun just fine:
She’s also able to sing at Lifechurch:
Yep, the war between Stitt and Treat has become so petty that the Senate won’t approve the Governor’s appointment of a pretty blonde pro-business, pro-gun, pro-prayer conservative white woman who refers to herself as a “dream trader” on social media to the Commerce Department.
Knowing that, I guess you can't blame Stitt’s for growing that third eyebrow! Connecting with universal consciousness may be the only thing that brings him solace!
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
