Edmond Public Schools engage in charity toe sucking, too!

Well, I guess we know why so many Edmond kids suffer from childhood trauma! 

As the Deer Creek toe-sucking controversy expands across the country like a bad case of Athlete’s Foot, providing right-wing provocateurs like Ryan Walters the opportunity to kiss the feet of the Fox News gods, spout propaganda, and turn the national media spotlight away from the tragic death of Nex Benedict, we’ve learned that it’s apparently not the only district where students dabble in kinky and disgusting fun in the name of charity. 

According to an email we received via the Ogle Mole Network, Toe Sucking for Charity™ is a common thing in the neighboring Edmond Public School District. 

Check this out:

I wanted to give a bit of perspective to the toe-licking fundraising thing.  For some reason, probably a left-over sports hazing ritual, all the Edmond high schools do some sort of licking-food-products-off-of-body-parts thing during their fundraising drives.  I am a teacher at one of these schools, and I can tell you that I have not heard a single student or teacher describe these things as a good idea.  Some of the students have said they attend all of the fundraising assemblies but this one, as they describe dry-heaving and panic attacks.  I doubt the administration loves it, as they are good and reasonable people, but there is the momentum of tradition that seems to keep these things going.  Almost universally, we think they’re gross, and some suggest some sort of fetish thing is going on.  (God, I hope not.)  It is my dearest hope that the embarrassment of this video for the schools that do such things will result in the ending of this unnecessarily disgusting activity.  It’s going to be one of those things that makes us look back and say, “What the hell were people thinking?”

Sincerely,

A High School Teacher

After I read that email, the first thing I did was text my old pals Tony and Marisa. 

Not only did they both attend and survive Edmond public schools, but I’m pretty sure they also love sucking on body parts. 

Tony didn’t seem to recall any sucking shenanigans, but Marisa said she remembered some sort of body-part-sucking competition during the school’s BALTO – “Bring A Light To Others” – philanthropy fundraising week. 

She then proceeded to tell a story about having a crush on a boy who ate a pickle off the cafeteria floor.

Ironically enough, that boy would turn out to be TV’s Brent Skarky!  

Anyway, I have some questions for our readers, commenters and admirers who not only attended Edmond Public Schools, but other school districts across our state:

1. Did you ever have to suck a body part for charity?

2. What body part was it?

Please let us know your answers via a comment or the TLO tip line. I want to blow the lid off this scandal like it’s a, well, never mind. 

Not only would it be fun to hear all of our Mole’s wild sucking stories, but we could also spin it as propaganda to use against Ryan Walters!

Seriously, why should he be allowed to go on Fox News and blame these shenanigans on Joe Biden, teacher unions and other manufactured boogeymen if this culture of body-part-sucking has a long and storied history in our state, and has been allowed to grow on his watch like an unkept toenail.

It’s time normal people go on the offensive and use the right’s misinformation, applied blame and propaganda tactics against them.

Plus, you have to admit “Ryan the Toe Licker” has a nice ring to it. 

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.