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Broken Arrow’s high rate of lunacy finally explained…

1:28 PM EST on December 8, 2022

We’ve finally developed a plausible explanation as to why such a large concentration of deranged, right-wing Derplahoman lunatics call the Tulsa suburb of Broken Arrow home!

According to an article in the Tulsa World, a vacant tract of land in South Broken Arrow where I believe Nathan Dahm played as a child has been found to have high concentrations of radioactivity!

Here are the details:

EPA workers are capping a former Broken Arrow landfill with clay after surveys and soil testing revealed potentially hazardous radioactivity levels at the site.

Workers are placing two, six-inch layers of compacted clay on the Wagoner County parcel, located on a vacant seven-acre tract of land south of Kenosha Street and east of South 219th East Avenue, said David Robertson, an on-scene coordinator with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s Region Six.

I am not a scientist, but isn’t two six-inch layers of compacted clay just a fancy way of saying one foot-long layer of compacted clay?

I can see if you’re ordering different sandwiches at Subway why you’d need to go the two six-inch route, but I’m pretty sure clay is clay. Save some money and go for a foot long! 

Here’s more:

“The primary concern at the site is the presence of Th-232-contaminated soil above a site-specific action level impacting future potential workers on-site and the surrounding population,” an August EPA memo states.

While officials have known about the radioactive material at the site for years, the amount found recently was a surprise.

Robertson said water and sediment samples taken a month ago from a nearby unnamed stream have been sent off for analysis, but he said he didn’t expect to find any actionable levels of contamination based on real-time gamma ray samples taken in the area.

“We don’t think there is any historic off-site impacts from the (contaminated area),” Robertson said.

First of all, TH-232 is my favorite George Lucas movie. 

Second, I’ll admit that my knowledge of gamma rays is limited to what I’ve heard in Beck’s music catalog, but based on the voting habits and shear right-wing lunacy frequently displayed by the Broken Arrow populace, I’m going to disagree with Mr. Robertson and assume the radioactive waste entered the Broken Arrow water supply years ago. 

Anyway, I guess we’ll continue to monitor the situation and provide updates. If you notice Nathan Dahm’s eyes turning green or him morphing into a Toxic Avenger, send us a tip or call the EPA. 

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.

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