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7 Historic OKC Buildings That Deserve To Be An On-Cue

5:50 AM EDT on September 27, 2022

Back in 2020, after On-Cue acquired the former demolished home of the majestic Founders Bank on N. May Ave, Lucas and I collaborated on a list of 7 Historic OKC Buildings That Deserve To Be An On-Cue.

With one of those buildings officially being demoed yesterday, I thought it would be nice to update and reshare the article. You know, in case the people who run On-Cue are reading.

Here we go...

1. The Gold Dome

This is the most obvious spot to put a gas station. The closest place to fuel up is less than a block away, which is way too far when you're burning 16 MPG. And look at this structure, it's like a bisected Ferrero Rocher, who needs it? This dumbass building doesn't even have chicken strips inside. – Lucas

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2. Star Wash

The Mos Eisley of the OKC coin-operated car wash scene, Star Wash has been a preferred destination for southside junkies, prostitutes and nerf herders for generations. Naturally, we should blow it up like Alderaan and replace it with an On-Cue. – Patrick

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3. The 7-11 at 23rd and Penn

Although it is one of the most visited locations in the area, this 7-11 is one of the most nightmarish places to find yourself in the metro. Every other day, there's a news report about someone throwing rocks at cars near this general area, which exclusively consists of chain-fried chicken fast food restaurants. Burn the 7-11 to the ground and put in a glistening clean gas station with a milkshake machine. – Lucas

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4. Governor's Mansion

This place is in such disrepair that our current Governor refuses to live there. Might as well put something useful in its place. – Patrick

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5. The Nipple Church

The status of the House of the Holy Titty has been in flux for a while now. Although it seems like for the time being we'll get to enjoy the titillation of seeing this mound rising from its hill on 36th Street, it probably won't last forever. Tear that fucker down so we can scarf down Simple Simon's pizza. It doesn't matter if there's another On Cue like a mile away, the only thing Oklahomans cherish more than churches is places to load up their Jeep Wranglers with that sweet, sweet fossil fuel.

5. That Old Gas Station at NE 63rd and Sooner

In 10 – 20 years, this area in NE OKC will probably be as congested as NW Expressway and Council Rd. As a result, On-Cue should scoop up the land and demo this one-time outpost from OKC's rural past. Its only historic claim to fame is being used in the 2008 Toby Wilkins horror film Splinter, and outside of running off the occasional person selling watermelons from the back of their old pickup, I doubt too many people will miss it. – Patrick

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6. The Devon Tower

We all know how the oil and gas industry works out, and eventually Devon will run out of money and panic and need to divest all of their funds. At the same time, people who live or frequent downtown have spent years BEGGING for something resembling a grocery store. The Devon Tower has been up for about 10 years now, which is enough to classify it as a historical landmark in Oklahoma City. Let's smash that skyscraper to the ground and put 60 gas pumps into the space. – Lucas

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7. The Overholser Mansion

This would really be the most ideal place to install an On Cue. The old-money Lexus crowd that lives in the neighborhood are the people who most desire a massive, spread-out gas station where there are very few opportunities to come in contact with mutants who make less than $750,000 a year. If developers truly want to pursue the idea that history means nothing and location is everything, bring the wrecking ball to this giant hall of wealth and smash that shit to the ground so we can put up a few acreages of fuel pumps and Doritos. – Lucas

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