Yesterday afternoon, we caused a minor scene on social media after we shared a clip of Oklahoma State Rep. Sherrie Conley – an Oklahoma lawmaker leading the effort ot ban books in libraries – going on a rant about a scene in Star Wars being altered to promote "alternative lifestyles."
The clip, which was sent to us via The Ogle Mole Network, generated the expected levels of outrage from Star Wars fans and those of us who like to mock, criticize and lampoon anti-gay conservative politicians on the Internet.
Earlier today, I got a charming email from a Blanchard photographer named Michael Scalf Sr. He claimed the video we shared was fake, selectively edited, and shows we have zero credibility. He also threatened to share our "fake news intentions" with all of his friends.
Check this out:
Since there's a Michael Scalf Sr. in this world, I guess that means there's also a Michael Scalf Jr. If so, it must suck to be that guy!
Spurred by his email, and in an effort to restore our credibility, I went digging for the full video of Conley's speech. I found it on the R.O.P.E. Facebook page. They're the anti-public education group that's big goal in 2022 is to ban books that don't conform to their draconian values from public school libraries. You know, the side of history you always want to be on.
Well, I have some good news for Conley, the Scalf family, and all the Star Wars fanboys out there.
After locating and watching the full video, it does appear that a correction is in order!
Sherrie wasn't technically claiming that the syringe attached to the IT-O interrogator droid from Star Wars was altered to include rainbow colors in an effort to promote "alternative lifestyles."
No, that's not it at all.
She was simply claiming that a children's comic book titled the Grumpy Unicorn parodied the IT-O interrogator droid from Star Wars, and they changed the color of the fluid in the syringe to rainbow to promote "alternative lifestyles."
Yes, that's right. The syringe wasn't rainbow-colored because rainbows and unicorns go together like bacon and eggs, wine and cheese, or Oklahoma Republicans and bigoted intolerance. No, according to her, this Roy G. Bivacation of the syringe fluid in a fictional children's book about a unicorn was strategically done to inject inject "Alternative Lifestyles" into children's veins.
What a relief to know the real truth, huh?
I haven't been able to locate the specific illustration that Sherrie is referring to, but here's a cover from a Grumpy Unicorn book. Be warned, Mr. Scalf and Co. – all it takes is one glimpse of the cover to turn you into a rainbow-fueled, cock-loving heathen...
Update: Here it is!
Yep, the syringe was rainbow because it was unicorn blood, Oh my God, I'm so gay now!
In the full video, which you can watch here, Sherrie also claims the monkey Sasquatch and beaver Jackalope on the book cover are promoting gay and transgendered lifestyles because one is wearing a red bow, and the other has antlers. Obviously, anyone who has worn a red bow and fake antlers to the OKC Pride Festival knows this to be true.
Anyway, I'd like to thank Michael Scalf Sr. for emailing and letting us know to set the record straight and inform our readers that somehow, someway, Sherrie Conley's thoughts and views are even crazier than we originally thought they were.
Seriously, if Star Wars was edited to give a syringe rainbow colors, she'd have a decent right-wing talking point about Hollywood going out of its way to promote gay imagery. But this is a fucking children's book about a grumpy unicorn! What color should the fluid be? Black and gray? Yellow? Just like how a cigar is a cigar, a rose is a rose, and a right-wing evangelical bigoted lawmaker is a right-wing evangelical bigoted lawmaker, sometimes a rainbow is just a rainbow.
Sherrie also left a Facebook post where she talked about our "fake news" report. I would like to offer her a sincere apology for us not getting the original story 100% correct, and for making her somehow look smarter than she actually is. I promise it won't happen again.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.
