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10 lesser-known Oklahoma laws that take effect on Monday

8:10 AM EDT on October 28, 2021

For a bunch of folks who don't like the government telling them what to do, our esteemed lawmakers sure love to create new laws!

Earlier this week, The Oklahoman took a look at some of the 350-odd laws that go into effect on November 1st. Some of them may benefit Oklahoma society, but for the most part, they're usually mix of pointless designations and unconstitutional anti-abortion and anti-immigration regulations to make sure our state doesn't get too much better.

Unsurprisingly, there are also a few kooky ones* that will soon be on the books. In fact, here are 10 lesser-known Oklahoma laws that take effect on Monday!

1. High School Seniors must pass “Oklahoma English” test to graduate

It’s now a requirement to properly pronounce Miami, Berlin, and Chickasha to be granted a state-issued ID in Oklahoma.

2. Local Law Enforcement Legally Required to Refuse the COVID-19 Vaccine

It seems like OKCPD couldn’t recruit enough new cadets with a COVID-19 mandate. This new law will better allow law enforcement to serve without worrying about all that protecting business.

3. "2020 Stolen Election" named official State Conspiracy Theory

It barely beat out vaccine microchips, which, as you know, our lawmakers attempted to ban.

4. Newborns automatically granted concealed carry license

Train them while they're young.

5. Divorce Cake named Oklahoma State Marijuana Strain

It topped Sooner Glue.

6. Fast-Tracked Parole for Straight, White, Conservative Males, and other lawmakers

It’s basically just a checkmark system. Straight? Check. White? Check. Conservative? Check. Male? Parole.

7. Government-Backed Recommendations for Braums Milk Consumption

It’s basically the FDA’s food pyramid recommendations, but 1. Shaped like a pie chart and 2. All iterations of dairy, from the A2 Farm Fresh Milk and cottage cheese, to all 46 flavors of Premium Ice Cream, are equally encouraged.

8. Chick-Fil-A sauce named State Condiment

That will show Joe Biden.

9. Create the “Pro-Wrestling Legend Jake the Snake Jake Roberts Pre-Memorial Highway”

Honestly, it wouldn’t be the stupidest name for a highway in this state.

10. Snipe Hunting season is set from May - July.

It will give Sasquatch hunters another reason to visit Oklahoma.

*If you haven't figured it out, this list is obviously satire.

Hayley is most looking forward to the Jake the Snake Pre-Memorial Highway. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.

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