For a bunch of folks who don't like the government telling them what to do, our esteemed lawmakers sure love to create new laws!
Earlier this week, The Oklahoman took a look at some of the 350-odd laws that go into effect on November 1st. Some of them may benefit Oklahoma society, but for the most part, they're usually mix of pointless designations and unconstitutional anti-abortion and anti-immigration regulations to make sure our state doesn't get too much better.
Unsurprisingly, there are also a few kooky ones* that will soon be on the books. In fact, here are 10 lesser-known Oklahoma laws that take effect on Monday!
1. High School Seniors must pass “Oklahoma English” test to graduate
It’s now a requirement to properly pronounce Miami, Berlin, and Chickasha to be granted a state-issued ID in Oklahoma.
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2. Local Law Enforcement Legally Required to Refuse the COVID-19 Vaccine
It seems like OKCPD couldn’t recruit enough new cadets with a COVID-19 mandate. This new law will better allow law enforcement to serve without worrying about all that protecting business.
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3. "2020 Stolen Election" named official State Conspiracy Theory
It barely beat out vaccine microchips, which, as you know, our lawmakers attempted to ban.
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4. Newborns automatically granted concealed carry license
Train them while they're young.
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5. Divorce Cake named Oklahoma State Marijuana Strain
It topped Sooner Glue.
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6. Fast-Tracked Parole for Straight, White, Conservative Males, and other lawmakers
It’s basically just a checkmark system. Straight? Check. White? Check. Conservative? Check. Male? Parole.
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7. Government-Backed Recommendations for Braums Milk Consumption
It’s basically the FDA’s food pyramid recommendations, but 1. Shaped like a pie chart and 2. All iterations of dairy, from the A2 Farm Fresh Milk and cottage cheese, to all 46 flavors of Premium Ice Cream, are equally encouraged.
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8. Chick-Fil-A sauce named State Condiment
That will show Joe Biden.
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9. Create the “Pro-Wrestling Legend Jake the Snake Jake Roberts Pre-Memorial Highway”
Honestly, it wouldn’t be the stupidest name for a highway in this state.
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10. Snipe Hunting season is set from May - July.
It will give Sasquatch hunters another reason to visit Oklahoma.
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*If you haven't figured it out, this list is obviously satire.
Hayley is most looking forward to the Jake the Snake Pre-Memorial Highway. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.
